Is There A Rape Culture In Your Youth Group?

You've heard of Youth Culture, Pop Culture, Arts and Culture, but have you heard of Rape Culture? I recently read an article that made reference to it so I looked it up. After reading various sources on it, I felt it necessary to share it with you. 

Rape Culture is the normalization of sexual violence as a society. It is when jokes about rape are made and laughed at, when a song about the objectifying women hits the top of the charts in pop music. It's when people believe the victim 'had it coming.' 

Shannon Ridgway in an article she wrote called 25 Everyday Examples of Rape Culture helps define it.

“It’s not necessarily a society or group of people that outwardly promotes rape (although it could be)… We’re talking about cultural practices (that, yes, we commonly engage in together as a society) that excuse or otherwise tolerate sexual violence.”

It’s about a cultural mentality towards sexual assault, rape and violence that lack moral values. When claims are made, are they ignored, and trivialized?  I took on the Cause for girls after a female in my youth group was raped by two co-workers. She arrived home in tears. Her aunt that she was living with yelled at her, told her to shower and that she had it coming. She was told that it was her fault. 

“Rape culture includes jokes, TV, music, advertising, legal jargon, laws, words, and imagery, that make violence against women and sexual coercion seem so normal that people believe that rape is inevitable. Rather than viewing the culture of rape as a problem to change, people in a rape culture think about the persistence of rape as “just the way things are.”  Force: Upsetting the Rape Culture

Looking at the extreme end of things, you see rape culture in prisons as depicted in Shawshank Redemption and in war torn countries where rape is used as psychological warfare, where girls are sold off to be sex slaves.  Please don’t forget about the Nigerian School Girls, as the American military is currently looks for them in Chad. Please keep praying for them. You see in a Rape Culture girls do not feel safe. But is that only overseas?

Here in Canada do we live in a rape culture? You be the judge. The Women’s Centre at Marshall University in the U.S. lists examples of what Rape Culture is.

Examples of Rape Culture:

• ·      Blaming the victim (“She asked for it!”)
• ·      Trivializing sexual assault (“Boys will be boys!”)
• ·      Sexually explicit jokes
• ·      Tolerance of sexual harassment
• ·      Inflating false rape report statistics
• ·      Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history
• ·      Gratuitous gendered violence in movies and television
• ·      Defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive
• ·      Defining “womanhood” as submissive and sexually passive
• ·      Pressure on men to “score”
• ·      Pressure on women to not appear “cold”
• ·      Assuming only promiscuous women get raped
• ·      Assuming that men don’t get raped or that only “weak” men get raped
• ·      Refusing to take rape accusations seriously
• ·      Teaching women to avoid getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape

Youth Pastor, do blurred lines exist in the mind of your students? If your students are connected with pop culture by way of music, TV, and they have to travel to get to school…then yes, there are lines that are blurry. I spoke at a girl’s conference in a small town addressing sexual assault and harassment. This bold Jr. High girl spoke up and asked me, “What do you do when people turn on you for telling.” A couple of the girls explained to me and shared examples of how not only do the guys shun a person for speaking when they have been assaulted or harassed, but it’s predominantly the females that get into the girls face and tell her off for ruining a guys life, or justifying his actions by saying, “He was just playing! Why are you taking things so seriously?” As I continued to travel to other schools, I am finding that this response is common right across the board. It’s her fault.

There is a class of Comedy Movies, that I call ‘Stupid’ Comedy. I’ll admit I haven’t seen any of these movies because I despise this genre. Movies like Austin Powers, Happy Gilmore. I know I can hear you, those are classics! I loved Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Wayne’s World, but I jumped off the bandwagon at Dumb and Dumber. This league of comedy continues to grow in popularity while the language; the jokes they make are progressively getting worst. The close range boob shots, the quick hand butt grabs, the sexual innuendos endorse rape culture. Movies like Ted, The Hangover, Borat, and new releases such as Neighbors and 100 Ways to Die In The West have made sexual harassment funny.

My Concerns For…

Young Women:  “It’s inevitable.” If you are in school your boob is going to get squeezed. The same attitude exists concerning taking transit in the big cities. Too many girls have accepted it as a way of life, this has become normal for them. Do the girls in your youth ministry know that they can do something about the guy who makes them feel uncomfortable as he constantly stares at her and her chest making obscene comments to his friends about her? THIS IS NOT NORMAL! THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! These types of discussions need to take place in the church. Also girls need to serve as allies for other girls who are courageous enough to report harassment or assault. There is power in numbers. Do the girls in your youth group rally around and support girls who’ve been assaulted or do they judge them like everybody else. Talk About It.

Young Men: The consequences. I do believe guys are good they just say and do stupid things. From Porn, to imagery in video games, even the action movies they watch it’s no wonder their lines are blurred. I’m concerned because what they are passing off as humour or jokes is actually a crime with HUGE ramifications that many of them don’t know about! Students need to know the bible AND practical ways of navigating through youth culture. We need more young men who have the courage to stand up to their guy friends who are speaking about someone inappropriately. More guys who will support a girl who has been assaulted in the hallway to go with her to the principal and help her speak up. More guys who are convicted to leave a movie because of how women are treated and portrayed. Talk About It.

How Can Men And Women Combat Rape Culture? 
Educate your students on the following:

• ·      Avoid using language that objectifies or degrades women
• ·      Speak out if you hear someone else making an offensive joke or trivializing rape
• ·      If a friend says they’ve been raped or assaulted guy or girl, take them seriously and be supportive
• ·      Teach students to think critically about the media’s messages about women, men, relationships, and violence
• ·      Be respectful of others’ physical space even in casual situations
• ·      Always communicate when intimate with someone do not assume consent
• ·      Define your own manhood or womanhood.  Do not let stereotypes shape your actions.
• ·      Get involved! Join a student or community group working to end violence against women.

Resources Used:

Women’s Centre: Marshall University; Rape Culture

Shannon Ridgeway;  25 Everyday Examples of Rape Culture – This article list specific examples or situations that are characterized by Rape Culture. Great Read.

Women Against Violence Against Women: Rape Crisis Centre; What Is Rape Culture

History of Rape Culture

Rape Culture is a term used by feminists back in the 70's. I defined in one of my previous blogs Be Awakened: The Cause For Women, feminism at its truest form is good and reflects the heart of God. Today not all feminists share the same view on rape culture. There are those who strongly disagree with songs, music videos, and the actions of people being labelled as Rape Culture as it conflicts with the freedom of expression and freedom of speech. You be the judge.

The Founder of the Young Woman of Power (YWOP), Alison develops programs that are designed to build girls confidence such as the YWOP PivotFWD workshop which she delivers in Calgary’s Youth Judicial System and a citywide Conference. Alison’s heart for young women is to see the statistics of violence against women decrease and to see females become counter culture/culturally dangerous by growing in true confidence. For more info or to book Alison as a speaker visit www.ywop.ca