Talking
about sexual abuse can be hard; it is often a very awkward and clumsy
conversation to have. There are teens in our care looking to have that “awkward
conversation” but for them its more than awkward, its terrifying. There are so
many teens carrying around huge secrets looking for someone safe to tell. Are
you that safe person? Ask yourself these basic questions:
1.
Am I available? When spending time with youth
are you aware of what is really going on or are you too caught up in dodge ball?
Whether you are doing bible study or doing some crazy activity be aware of what
is going on with your youth and look for opportunities to connect on a deeper
level.
2.
Do I know when to be serious? We all know people that we love
to be around but would never share anything personal with. If we want to be a safe person for a teen in
trouble we need to learn the balance of joking around and talking about the
serious stuff.
3.
Are you worried about the
paperwork a disclosure of sexual abuse will cause? When a teen discloses abuse its
can be messy to work through especially when local authorities need to be
involved. Be assured that the mess of initially dealing with a disclosure is
worth it in the end even if that teen doesn’t realize it till later on.
4.
Have I passed the test? Teens often test before they
disclose sexual abuse, they will share a smaller challenge in their life e.g. telling
you their older brother is really mean or they are sad because their dog died.
Teens will gauge your response and then decide if you are safe to confide in.
Statistics
estimate that 1 in 3 girls are being sexual abused. That’s not 1 in 3 girls in
other youth groups that is 1 in 3 in YOUR youth group. For too long sexual
abuse has been an issue that society is ashamed to talk about. This has to end!
I am not suggesting that we go looking for teens who we think may have been abused
then force them to tell us but this is what I am saying: It is crucial that we are
available and willing to have these difficult conversations and it is crucial
that we communicate that clearly with our youth.
Here is
one project that has been helping people to communicate that they are a safe
person to talk to about sexual abuse.
Creating
A Different Response Campaign
Hope
for Her International has started an online campaign to help communities talk
about sexual abuse. Too often when people who have been experienced sexual violence finally tell
someone they are met with messages of disbelief, shame and ignorance; too many
victims are shamed, blamed or not believed. If we want to end sexual violence
this needs to change, we need a different community response.
Teens
are always on Facebook and they seem to love taking pictures of themselves! Why
not take part in this project as a youth group or as church. It’s a great way
to talk about the issue while sending a clear message to those people
wondering, “Is it safe to tell?”
If someone you cared about was sexually violated, what would be
one thing you would want to tell him or her?
1.
Take a picture of yourself holding a message answering the question: If
someone you cared about was sexually violated, what would be one thing you
would want to tell him or her?
2.
Post it on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter and tag it #hopeforherinternational
and #creatingadifferentresponse so we can track the messages. Then nominate
some friends to do the same. For more information on Hope for Her International
go to www.hopeforherblog.wordpress.com/about
Jane Galbreath
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