Soul-Caring Habits

Much has been written and talked about regarding the necessity of youth workers caring for their own souls. This is a critical habit to develop. The truth is that unless you are tending to your own soul care, the ministry you are engaged in and serve with won't do it for you.

I've seen way too many friends and colleagues burnout in ministry because they neglected the health and development of their soul. And when burnout happens, it's more than just the individual that suffers. Their entire community bears the scars and wounds that soul neglect creates.

There are many different habits that can become soul-nourishing. Here are three of my top three:

1. Playing or listening to music. Music has the ability to lift, emote, transform and transcend situations and circumstances. In different seasons of my life I've been drawn to different genres to help restore my emotional capacity, or process the difficult nature of pending circumstances I was feeling. Songwriters like Adele and Ryan Tedder (and others) have the ability to translate their pain and joy into song in ways that help others process their own current reality in a fresh perspective. Even classical music can help with decompressing after a difficult day or conversation.

When you are feeling on edge, music can be a tool to help you recalibrate. Listening to or playing music can become a soul-nurturing habit.

2. Watching movies. Sometimes living into an unfolding story as seen on screen can provide you with the necessary processing time you need to tend to your soul health. Stories are powerful invitations to celebrate, create or hope. Movies can be springboards into hopeful perspectives and outlooks in leadership challenges. When a protagonist triumphs over evil, it can be a reminder that every leader faces challenges and can discover a way to work through them. When an antagonist becomes all-consuming, the viewer may be aware of his or her own ability to become the negative influence we seek to overcome in different seasons.

And sometimes you just need to laugh. Visually displayed humour can invite us into a 50,000 ft perspective of our own hardships or challenges while reminding us of what is really important...living life instead of simply managing it.

3. Creating conversation. We all need people we can talk to and confide it. Whether that is a spouse, close friends or a network of other youth workers, who are your allies in your foxhole? Do you have people you can be completely candid with, or are you always in the habit of keeping up appearances? Authenticity is the gateway to a healthy soul. It is absolutely critical for every leader to find fellow sojourners who support, uplift, pray for and challenge them. We weren't created for isolation, and we will not survive on our own. We need each other.


What have been your most healthy soul caring habits? What would you add to this list? 



About Me: Jason has lived in Calgary, Alberta Canada since 1995, and been a youth pastor since 2001. He is married to the love of his life, Bonny, and together they have three incredible children: Saydie, Cannon and Deklon. Jason possesses a desire to see youth, parents and families become who God created them to be through loving and living like Jesus. He currently serves on staff at Centre Street Church in Calgary. He loves hockey, playing guitar, writing and creating environments and opportunities where others can realize their potential in Jesus while experiencing the full life He promised to those who follow Him!

Facilitating Good Small Group Discussions

Here are 6 tips for facilitating a good small group discussion in youth ministry:

1.  Environment

-Limit the group size

-Sit in a way where everyone can hear and participate fully (ie. All sitting on chairs, on floor, standing)

2.  Tone

-You set the tone as the leader

-Start with a  prayer where appropriate and have everyone introduce themselves

-Pledge confidentiality

3.  Navigate

-Your job is to keep the conversation on track

-Don’t focus on one person and don’t let one person monopolize the conversation

-Give people the option to pass

4.  Facilitate

-Your job is to wrap and connect points, and keep everyone involved

-Share from your own experiences when appropriate, but don’t preach and don’t feel you have to comment on every single answer given by a group member

-Be prepared to summarize the group discussion if necessary

5.  Silence

-Silence is not always a bad thing

-Let the members think about what they are going to say

-Don’t always jump in to save the discussion

6.  Encourage

-Affirm the members for sharing

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo     

When Silence is Golden

During a scripted prayer before a meeting this morning, there was a period of silence much longer than we were expecting or accustomed to.  It was actually quite nice and I had no problem resting in the spirit and offering up the meeting and entire day.  However, I could tell that others weren't as comfortable as I was as I heard fidgeting and I sensed unease.  Finally someone comically said "So are we going to meet or just pray all day?"

Not that there's anything wrong with prayer; but we did have many things to accomplish.  It turns out that a small miscommunication led to the prolonged silence.  The person who was supposed to recite the next section didn't know she supposed to.

It got me thinking about small group discussions in youth ministry, and in particular, the silence that sometimes comes with them.  We all know that small groups - when done well - can be an invaluable part of youth ministry.  It gives the more quiet or shy youth a chance to express themselves and it helps youth workers break down topics in a more intimate environment.

However, many youth workers do not handle silence well.  Often, a youth worker will "jump in" to break the silence and therefore "save" the discussion from failing - because they perceive the quiet to be a condemnation of their leadership skills.

Or that the question was too specific.  Or too difficult.

Many times, this is not the case at all.  The youth may need time to think about and formulate their answers.  They may be recalling a memory or trying to figure out how to articulate a response.  We can't rush these moments.

Of course, you need to use your judgement.  If every question you pose is met with silence, then perhaps you need to change your technique, change your questions, or both.

However, a bit of silence is just fine.  So don't rush to end it.  Embrace it instead.

After all, it might be the only quiet time you get all day.

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo