Public Speaking Tip: Speak to the Eyes

Matthew 6:22 NLT

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.”

When you are speaking what are you speaking to? Your notes, the ceiling, the floor? Do you know? Nervousness can cause your eyes to wander, but to maximize the impact of your message... SPEAK TO THE EYES.

Police officers will often tell someone they are questioning to remove their sunglasses. A friend told me that he never picks up a hitch hiker who is wearing shades. Why is that? The eyes reveal what’s going on inside. You can tell when a student is high or intoxicated by looking into their eyes. You can see pain, purity, and fear in one’s eyes. To address the issues of the soul the eyes are the gateway so...SPEAK TO THE EYES!

If Truth is an arrow and your message is the bow, where do you aim? An archer aims for the Bulls Eye - the red dot in the middle. For a speaker that red dot are the eyes of your audience. Whenever I am about to state a vital truth that is pivotal for my audience to get...I ask them to look up at me. I wait until I have every eye in the house and then I speak that truth into those eyes. I’ll repeat that statement until I have spoken that word over the entire room.

Unaware to me, Holy Spirit will often point my bow at a specific student. While I’m looking at them an arrow is released. Afterwards I’ll have that kid or a youth worker come up to me saying, “How did you know?” or “That’s what they needed to hear!” BULLS EYE!!

Don’t aim high or low or at your notes, you’ve got a word that’s got to hit home. Aim for the eyes. And watch God’s word change the heart and soul.

Practice Time

Are you unsure if you are looking at people’s eyes or past them? Look at them long enough to know the colour of their eyes. Still not doing it? Get someone to quiz you!

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A member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) Alison has dedicated her time to developing her gift of Public Speaking so that her listeners would believe the truth that she shares and to raise up other strong youth communicator’s in Canada. She has been speaking full time for four years and is currently enrolled in Youth Speakers University.

Speaking Tips are from Alison’s Public Speaking Enhancement Workshop for any inquires message her today. http://www.inspiringteengreatness.com

How In Sync are You?

While vacationing in Las Vegas, we went to see “MUS.I.C” featuring the first winners of America’s Best Dance Crew, the Jabbawockeez.  Unsurprisingly, it was an amazing show and my entire family absolutely loved it.

Within minutes of sitting down (for the sake of the dance crew and the entire audience, I made sure I purchased tickets in the "Absolutely No Chance of Being Called on Stage" section) we were mesmerized by the “audiovisual story of inspiration brought to life through the harmonization of sound and movement.”

A couple of things really stood out to me during the show.  The first one was their trademark white masks.  They wear the expression-less masks so the audience focuses on their dance moves and not on their individual faces.  As well, you then focus on them as an entire unit as opposed to individuals.  Sounds a lot like something I wrote a few weeks ago in my blog “Get Over Yourself.”

The second thing is related to the first: the synchronicity the dancers displayed all evening.  I’m no dance expert (as 99.5% of my family and friends will attest to) but I did appreciate how tight and exact the routines were. 

Which got me thinking:  how “in sync” are you in your youth ministry?

1.  In sync with God.  This should be obvious but it certainly shouldn’t be understated.  We simply cannot give what we don’t have; thus the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.  Are we constantly working on our prayer lives and our knowledge of the faith?  The more we know God the more we will love Him.  And the more that young people will see God living in us and through us.

2.  In sync with your team.  As I alluded to above, the strongest youth ministries are those with the strongest teams and not necessarily the strongest individuals.  It takes a variety of individuals to minster to and with the many young people in the parish and it takes a multitude of people to be able to respond and relate to the many needs of youth. 

3.  In sync with your church community.  We speak constantly about the importance of involving young people in the greater live of the church community.  But often youth ministry is put into its own “silo”.  It might be because we have a “youth-focused” Mass or service where the majority of young people congregate.  It’s our job as youth ministers to make sure that youth are visible and involved in all facets of parish life and not just in youth-related activities.

Just a few things to think about.   Now excuse me as I go look for my old mix tapes.  I feel a good Running Man coming on.

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo

The Digital Age

I wasn't sure at all what I was going to write about this week.  I've been extremely busy with my work and left this weeks post to the last minute and then a few more.  For the last couple of months I've had a very good idea on what I was going to cover well in advance, not this week.  Then this evening my wife informed me that some of the former members of the David Crowder Band had stayed together and formed a new band call "The Digital Age" and have released an EP.  This new piece of information led me to this post tonight and will perhaps influence the next couple weeks of posts.

I'll get into this more next week, but I feel the David Crowder Band has been an amazing pillar of music in the Christian scene for many many years and have been light years ahead of everyone else.  It is good to see some of them sticking together.  While surfing their site a particular line on their about page caught me and I want to touch on it briefly today.

"With the rise of the internet, our neighbors are no longer the people who live next to us. We have relationships with people not only within our communities and in our cities, but across the globe. Ideas and information spread quickly and shape how we choose to connect or disconnect from those around us."

This very topic has been something I have been investing a lot of research into over the last few years.  The internet is making the world flat, countless things are becoming disintermediated, traditionally strong things are crumbling at a rapid pace.  This current age that we are in is one of wonders, speed, information and change.  It is an exciting yet scary time to be a part of.  As Youth Leaders we need to make sure that we pay attention to the changing landscape around us, try our best to understand the next generation of kids coming up, and meet the current generation where they are at now.  In some ways your job in the church is one of the most difficult as you have to learn to build bridges between some very different generations and mindsets.

It will pay off if you take some time to understand all of this, learn to connect to those in your neighbourhood, but also make sure you learning from people across the globe.  Truly understanding the shifts that are going on is more than just getting yourself a Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest account.  It is about learning how kids learn and absorb information, paying attention to the next wave of technology and how that will impact your next group of kids, and also trying to act as a gap between your youth and their parents.  All of this takes a lot of work, but if you put enough time into it will pay off.

Going Slow with Dr. Low

Where are you called to live and what are you called to do there?

I just came back from a week of Family Camp at the Bible Camp I grew up at.  As many of you have experienced, summer camp is always a bit of a Christian bubble where everything feels good, safe, spiritual and even fun - the troubles of the world seem to slip away for those few days.

I often hear people at the end of camp using phrases like, "And now it's time to go back to the real world".  While I understand the phrase and have used it myself, as I've gotten older I have began to resist the notion that this is the real world.  Is the busy, materialistic world full of temptations and not very God-focused really the real world or does the camp atmosphere actually represent true reality (God's reality) more than the so-called real world?  There are arguably valid answers on both sides.

I had a few conversations at camp with people who said they would feel guilty staying at camp too long or living in a Christian bubble like that for too long.  They believe they are needed as "salt and light" out in the real world so, as much as they enjoyed their time at camp, they were ready to go home and be lamps in the world.

While I appreciate the sentiment and attitude of those wanting to live and serve in the heart of our busy cities (most of the campers were from Calgary and Edmonton), I also believe some people are called to live in smaller towns, rural settings or even Bible Camps.  And to me this is the point that really matters in the end - what/where someone is called to.  There is nothing really more godly or valuable about living in the country serving at camp versus living in suburbia and loving the soccer moms and dads around you - both are part of God's Kingdom and both are necessary for serving God's people.  So, all things being equal, it's important to slow down your heart and mind long enough to seek and sense God's calling in your life.  He calls some of us to be salt and light in the busy suburbs and highrises of our cities and He calls others to live so-called simpler lives in smaller, quieter settings.  There's no sense feeling proud or guilty of living in one or the other, the only thing that matters is what God is asking of you.

Where are you called to live and what are you called to do there?


Submitted by Dr. Rob Low, a Spiritual Life Coach with From Beginning to End Ministries.

Parents

One-on-one time with parents without kids around is very valuable.

I see the value in asking questions privately with every set of parents represented in the youth ministry on a consistent basis. Through these questions I am helping parents discover more about themselves, their kids and their spiritual relationship with God. Here are two questions I use that sparks great discussion.

What things are happening in your family and the life of your student that would help our youth leaders know how to better work with your student?

Partnering with parents involves both parties understanding and agreeing on the spiritual direction they are going together and both parties need to communicate with each other. You MUST listen to parent share stories about their families and their kids, you MUST also share stories about your observations and experiences with their students and youth ministry.

How are you doing spiritually?

The spiritual health of students is dependant upon the spiritual health of their parents. Depending on their answer or silence, you have a great opportunity to focus on them and coach them at this point.

Jeff Smyth is a youth worker who has been involved in both the local church and non-profit areas of Canada. He works with DOXA Toronto, providing resources, training and coaching for local churches. Jeff lives in Toronto with his wife Heather and son Nathan. Jeff's blog ThinkYouthMinistry.com

We are Family: A Weekend of Looking Back and Looking Ahead

This past weekend was a wonderful opportunity to both look back and look ahead as I attended two amazing events (and missed a third).

On Saturday we held a 10th anniversary celebration for World Youth Day 2002 in Toronto at Good Shepherd Church in Surrey.  The event was highlighted by Mass celebrated by Archbishop Michael, a barbecue and social, and informal program featuring music, videos, prayer and testimonies.  It was a reunion of sorts, as I got to reconnect with old friends – some I hadn’t seen since 2002.  It was great to hear numerous stories of how WYD 2002 (and the Days in the Diocese preceding it) had changed so many lives and how the event served as a catalyst for the growth of youth and young adult ministry in our archdiocese.  Thus, WYD 2002 will always hold a special place in my heart, as I obtained my full-time job with the Archdiocese of Vancouver immediately after returning home from Toronto.  That means it will be my 10 year anniversary as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry this December.

I wasn’t able to attend the 20 year reunion of my high school, Richmond Senior Secondary, also Saturday night.  It was tough not to be there as I was looking forward to catching up with many people in person rather than on Facebook.  Not to mention that it was held a fancy Japanese restaurant downtown Vancouver.  Alas, I’ve already seen some of the pictures from the evening and everyone looks great: less some hair up top and a bit of extra poundage down below.  I would have fit right in!

Then, Sunday was our long-awaited Parish Picnic at St. Paul in Richmond.  Months of planning culminated in an amazing day under the hot sun with over 1,000 attendees and 100 plus volunteers.  There was a little something for everyone: good food, talent show, field games, pie-eating contest, cotton candy, inflatables, a basketball tourney, and my personal favourite the dunk tank.  It was a beautiful sight to see so many people involved, with the majority of the volunteers being youth, young adults, and young at heart.  Under some very strong and faithful leadership, the event was extremely successful and surely achieved its primary goal of building community and making people proud to be part of the growing parish.

I dare say that it’s more than a parish community; rather it’s a parish family. And at the head of our parish family is our pastor Monsignor Luterbach.  Although we weren’t able to convince him to take a turn in the dunk tank, he was 100% behind the entire event.  As he made his way throughout the parish grounds and observed the parish family in action, he truly was a proud Father.  His smile went from ear to ear and he even chucked a couple buckets of ice into the dunk tank immediately prior to my shift.  Thanks Father Luterbach…I love you too.

Sure…with any family, there’s bound to be disagreements.  Family members (and ministries) don’t always agree.  We sometimes stereotype based on age, background or skill set.  We fight for space in the parish centre or in the weekly bulletin.  And we may be resistant to change.

But this parish picnic in particular has me so hopeful for the future of our parish.  We welcomed visitors to our home as we showed off our best qualities.  We are hospitable.  We are compassionate.  We are talented.  And we are willing to serve.

People are already taking about next year and for good reason.  I can’t wait to see what future parish picnics will bring as we continue to attract new blood, new volunteers, and new members to our parish family.

I just hope I don’t lose my wedding ring in the dunk tank again.


Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo

Our Deepest Fear - Part 4 .. Or is it Apathy?

I've done a lot of thinking about fear over the last couple of years.  This fall I am attending a conference put on by one of my favourite bloggers about pursuing your dreams.  He tends to write a lot about conquering fear and how so many people are gripped by it.  Fear of rejections, fear of what other people might think, fear of traveling, fear of the unknown, and the list goes on.

I'm not sure if it was how I was raised, or if something clicked of me at some weird point in my development, but for some reason fear rarely affects me.  I mean there are times where natural fear keeps me in line and doing the right thing (driving on the right side of the highway for example), but what I really struggle with is apathy.  Wikipedia defines Apathy as "a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation and passion".  I find that most of the time when I have time to myself after a long day at work, being a father and husband I just end up having a hard time getting motivated.  It is not that I'm afraid of what might happen, sometimes I end up honestly with a deep sense of not caring.  I struggle with this quite considerably because I DO care, I do have passion for the poor and the windowed, I DO have a heart for them.  I've taken considerable parts of my life investing in others, but when it comes to pushing to that NEXT step apathy kicks in like a bad habit.  

That is why the quote I've been dissecting here for the last month means so much to me.  It calls me out personally.  By me playing small and not pushing myself the world is not benefiting.  We only have one shot at this life, and I do not want to be at the end of it and regret not doing the things I feel called too because I got too busy or distracted or lacked that last bit of motivation.  So often in life we end up regretting what we did NOT do, and not what we did.  

What is God calling you to do that you might be fearful of? What is the worse that can happen if you step out?  Or are you struggling with apathy and lack motivation?  Try this week to do just 1 thing to make that extra difference in the world.  So often we get overwhelmed by the large pile of hurt around us, but just start with 1 thing.  You'd be surprised how much just improving 1% each day will add up quickly over time.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

–Marianne Williamson

Ryan Filsinger is a husband, father, hockey lover, video game producer and aspiring social architect.  He has been in part time youth ministry for the last six years in Charlottetown, PEI.  You can find him on twitter @rfilsinger or read his rarely updated blog at www.filsinger.org