Go Slow with Dr. Low

Almost everyone I've met with over the last week has been struggling with living in the truth, walking in the light and obeying God's wisdom.  They are feeling stuck in lies, heavy with darkness and burdened with weakness and insecurities.  They are hoping their faith will lift them out of the dark valley but even in the Bible faith does not always guarantee this type of deliverance.  For example, Psalm 23 indicates God is with us when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death; it does not say He necessarily lifts us out of the valley even though He sometimes does.

When we fall into one of these negative times the dark talk flies at us a million miles a minute.  Because of the speed and volume of these negative voices the only defense is to slow down and listen to the truth.  God's truth does not always scream at us as quickly or loudly as the negative talk; it doesn't have to because it is stronger than that - like that strong, mature person you admire who states their words boldly and clearly without throwing a tantrum.  Hearing these words, especially if we're feeling low, requires turning our attention towards His voice and listening.  And then, of course, after listening comes embracing and acting - obedience - but we have to hear it first.

Thankful for Dad 8 Years Later: Wonderful Memories of a Wonderful Man

For this week's post, I decided to take a break from youth ministry writing.  Rather, I would love to use this time and space to reflect on my Dad's passing...from 8 years ago.  Thanks!

Eight years ago on Thanksgiving Monday, October 11, 2004, my loving father Larry passed away on the 17th fairway at Burnaby Mountain Golf Course. Not a bad way to go, all things considered! Our family purchased a beautiful memorial bench with a plaque reading: “In loving memory of Larry Imoo. He will always be in our hearts and thoughts.” I take solace in the fact that every golfer who stops to pause at the bench will learn a small bit about my dad.

Usually on or near his death anniversary, we gather with my Mom and brother Jason (and his family) for dinner. This year was no exception, as we had Thanksgiving Dinner at our place on Sunday night. We shared a laugh and a tear over our shabu shabu meal…remembering just how much fun Dad was and all of his amazing qualities: his ability to not take himself too seriously, his unselfishness, and his knack for making everyone around him feel important and special.

I can’t believe that 8 years have passed already. I remember October 11, 2004 so vividly. How we had just returned from the pumpkin patch in anticipation of Halloween. How I was preparing to meet Mom and Dad at my in-laws for Thanksgiving Dinner. How the doorbell rang and how surprised I was to see Father Smith at my door. How he sat me down and how I innocently thought that he was going to confess something to me! How loving, caring, and respectful he was as he shared the horrific news. How I sat in total shock, not believing what I had just heard. How I broke down in passing the news on to my brother over the phone. And how heartbroken I was to find my mom weeping in her living room…the cops had beaten me to the house by a mere two minutes.

Not a day goes by without me thinking of Dad and/or praying for him. His picture adorns a wall in both our home and my office – a wonderful reminder of his good looks, warm smile, and snappy wardrobe. But more than pictures, I see Dad in Sean, Jake and Kayla. Sean has Dad’s athletic ability: when Jason and I were kids our friends would come over to see if my Dad was free to play with them…leaving Jason and me inside…haha. Jake has Dad’s charm and sense of humour: it’s hard to get mad at Jake just as it was hard to get upset with Dad (well…my mom might have something different to say about that). And Kayla has Dad’s playfulness. How I wish that Dad had the chance to meet Kayla; he would have loved her, spoiled her, and undoubtedly taught her how to golf…or at least retrieve his golf balls.

Some of my most vivid memories of my Dad revolve around sports. Dad always made time to play outside with us, watch sports on tv with us, or get whooped in video games by us. In fact, one of my favourite stories about my Dad is how Jason, Rich and I would rush home from UBC to play NHL 94 on the Sega Genesis. Dad would have the game all set up for us when we walked in the door, and within 2 minutes we were well into our game. But not before we would pick teams…or more accurately…find out who had to team with Dad. NHL 94 actually tracked winning percentages, and invariably the percentages usually looked something like this: Jason 70%, Clay 65%, Rich 60%, and Dad 5%. And sadly, I’m likely over-estimating Dad’s percentage. Anyway, the 3 younger guys would play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” with the loser having to team with Dad (and likely suffering a dent in his winning percentage). But in the spirit of fairness, you only had to play with Dad a maximum of 2 games in a row…if you lost the 3rd time we would re-draw. Needless to say, the games of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to determine the teams were often more intense and dramatic than the actual hockey game.

Yet another fond memory of mine was listening to Canucks games on CKNW 98 in the 1980s. Dad, Jason and I would lie on his bed and soak in the descriptive commentary of Jim Robson and Tom Larscheid. Jason and I would often fall asleep before the end of the game, but it didn’t matter: that time together was very special. To this day, I’m not sure what Mom would do for those 3 hours, as there was certainly no room for her on the bed!

It’s almost fitting that Dad did pass away on Thanksgiving…as there is so much to him that I am thankful for. Simply put, he was an amazing man who always put the needs of others ahead of his own. He was an awesome Dad, loving husband, faithful son, and playful grandfather. He was the undisputed leader of the Imoo family, and had a strength and courage about him that you couldn’t help but admire.

Thank you Dad for teaching me what it means to be a man.

Thank you Dad for showing me how to raise my children.

Thank you Dad for being my father, my friend, and my hero. I love you.

View our video tribute to Dad here.

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo

The Ice Breaker - Part 2

A couple weeks ago I put up part of a chapter of a book I'm slowly working on about how to put together quality youth lessons quickly.  This is another part of the chapter called "The Ice Breaker"

Question Types

The main point of the Ice Breaker is to ask a question that is easily accessible to everyone.  This means that it generally needs to stay on the lighter side.  Try to keep in mind when choosing an Ice Breaker that it is best to connect it back to the lesson or season at hand.  A practical example of this is while studying John 9 (where Jesus places mud into the eyes of the blind man), the ice breaker for that evening was “If you had to go without one of your senses which would it be?”  This is generally a much heavier ice breaker than I care to ask, but it fit the story and allowed the kids to ponder on what it might be like to lose a sense.  This creates a mental connection for the kids when you start to dig deeper into the topic you are discussing that evening.  One of the main things to remember is that your goal is to create an atmosphere where the people involved in the small group feel welcomed.  This is achieved by ensuring that the barrier to entry into the conversation is low.
Types of questions to avoid: 

1)      Vague - How do you feel about the color white?

2)      Personal - Have you ever had someone touch you inappropriately?

3)      Theological – What is your opinion on predestination?

4)      Controversial – What do you think about gay marriage?

5)      Political – Are you voting for Obama or Romney?

To reiterate, the purpose of the Ice Breaker is to allow for a small period of light hearted discussion to occur.  If you are asking the wrong questions, it can create large heated discussions that can be very difficult to bring people back from. It can also cause people to shut down completely, and that can often be worse than a heated debate.  This is also the most difficult part of the evening to contain or keep kids under control.  Many times the questions will create an explosion of stories, memories, side discussions and funny moments.  For that very reason it is also perhaps one of my favorite parts of the entire lesson.  While the conversations are never theological or deep, they do provide for some great memories.
Youth put on masks all day long, often spending much of their waking hours pretending to be someone they’re not.  They may be hiding from their friends, family, church members, etc.   What I have found over the years is that asking non-threatening, silly questions can often break down the walls that a youth may have been putting up all day.  Sharing that moment of laughter with a youth whose family is going through a divorce might not help fix the pain he is experiencing, but it could give him some reprieve.
Some tips on creating a good Ice Breaker:

1) Make it easy to answer and ensure it does not require a lot of thinking.

2) Create an open discussion amongst the kids.

3) Relate it back to the lesson.

Example: Your lesson is about world hunger, and you open with the question “What is your favorite food?”

My favorite types of questions are the ones that make kids dream big. 

·         If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

·         If money was no object what would buy?

·         If you could do anything with the rest of your life what would it be?

Questions like these create space for the kids to share their dreams, ambitions, and inner secrets without being too personal or revealing on the surface.  Returning later to these statements at the right time can and will give you opportunities to dig deeper into what a youth might be thinking or feeling.

Spiritual Practice of the Week: Thanksgiving Feast

Start a tradition of sharing Thanksgiving with your youth group. Thanksgiving is the time of harvest and feast, the time for gratitude for the good great gifts of the earth. It’s a time to be with people you care about and are thankful for. Thanksgiving is also a time to see firsthand the gifts of the earth through the harvest.

Plan ahead for an evening feast. Organize youth into small groups of two or three to plan, shop, and prepare one course of the feast (appetizer, salad, entrée, dessert, beverages). Spend the day before the feast gathering food items, perhaps going to a farm and or farmers market. Have youth do their own purchasing. Encourage them to choose local food from local businesses. Spend the following afternoon at the church or at a home working on the various courses. Set a time for the meal to begin. Encourage people to dress up - create a sense of occasion. As the leader, focus on setting up a space that is warm and inviting, like a family thanksgiving table. Add special touches so that the space is welcoming and festive. Have candles on the table.

On the evening of the meal, have all the food set out and ready to serve. Ask everyone to sit around the table. Share in this simple prayer/grace to begin. Invite people to hold hands and look around the circle at the people and at the table. Light the candles on the table.

Gathering God, you have gathered us here in this circle of care and friendship. We give you great thanks for the people around this circle, for the food in a world where many go hungry, for the rich plenty that the earth provides. We give you great thanks that today our needs for community, food, water, and compassion are met around this table of thanksgiving. We give thanks for the plants and the animals who have given so that we may be fed. We give thanks for the many people who were involved in bringing us this feast;  those who planted, nurtured, transported, prepared, organized, and cooked this meal. We know that we are in the midst of many blessings. Thank you God. Amen.

Have youth serve themselves one course at a time. Enjoy the meal together. During the meal, you may wish to pose a question in order to generate conversation, such as:

• Tell us about the best meal you ever ate.
• Tell us about a time when you were welcomed around a table for a meal.
• Share a family Thanksgiving tradition.
• Talk about where this food came from, or the challenges and joys of working together to provide this meal for one another.

When all are finished, share in a blessing on the meal and on one another. Have people offer aloud words that reflect the gratitude in their hearts.

Blessing

To the God who blesses us we give thanks. Thank you for _______ (invite sharing of words).

To the God who does all these things, who brings us around this table of friendship, who blesses us in many ways, we give thanks. Amen

© This prayer practice and all of those on the Sunday Morning Blog Post can be found in:  "Go Deep: Spiritual Practices for Youth Ministry" Wood Lake Publishing
Doris is the Youth Director for the United Church of Canada in BC and the Director of World Pilgrim Awareness Travel.

What Youth & Young Adults Want You To Know About Your Talks

The Case For Growth Part 2: What Your Students Want You To Improve On

I surveyed Eighty-Six students between the ages of 12 to 28 ranging from different churches through Alberta to Ontario. They were asked the following questions: What advice would you give a rookie Pastor on how to keep both you and your first-time-to-church friends engaged in a message? What would you like to see the Pastor do more of or less of in their speaking? Below are the top 10 Responses from the survey. (1. Being the highest number of responses 10. being the least).

1.       HUMOUR –“Humor keeps EVERYONE on their toes, people love listening to comedy, people love to laugh!! I think if humor was incorporated with real life situations along with biblical history and revelation there would be a lot more attentive ears listening to what is coming from the pulpit.”         – Matthew 

2.       RELATABLE – “I think a youth pastor should be willing to stay in touch with youth culture (ex. current video games, celebrities, etc.) and use current language.”– Hunter   Students are wanting advice about topics that are real. They want you to know though they go to church they don’t have it all together and they need help.  

3.       ENGAGING -  Students want to interact with your message. “It’s a long time to just sit and listen” - Cidney.  Texting questions, voting systems, students want activities that get them involved in the message. 

4.       SPEAK FROM THE HEART WITH PASSION AND LOVE.  It’s got to be more than just getting a pay cheque. Your students are looking for speakers who are real, vulnerable, honest  and are totally into what they are doing and enjoy it.

5.       STORIES – “I love to hear their stories as well as stories that relate.” – Kirsten

6.       TIMING -  Not too long. “The most important thing with timing is not to go over.  About 5 minutes before a 25 minute lesson is supposed to end, people start checking out.”  – Jay

 

7.       VISUAL AIDS – Students would like to see more object lesson’s and video’s to illustrate the point. They are memorable and attention grabbing.  

8.       STRONG CONTENT – Don’t forget the Cross and preaching from the Old Testament. Students want to hear something new minus the “Christianese” but at the same time not dumbing things down. “I've heard many a sermon where no Scripture is used! I believe that cutting deep and getting to the heart of things can grab one's attention better than the fluff of jokes and stories.” – Carisse 

9.       PRACTICAL APPLICATION – “I love it when speaking ends with a realistic challenge. Something [we] can do for others, like anonymous encouragement notes in the lockers of classmates, or attitudes that need re-adjusting, or realistic devotional challenges!” – Chelsea

10.   INTEGRITY – “Love the Ways of God. This is something unspoken that we are able to read between the lines” – Sarah The Life you live speaks volumes. Do you believe and live what you say.

Youth Worker, listen to your audience. You want them to bring their friends...then listen to them. For the sake of a generation and God’s desire to reach them, begin to implement some of the above.
We all can grow in the art of public speaking. Do it today, it makes a difference. Whether it’s joining a toastmasters club in your area www.toastmasters.org  or picking up Public Speaking for dummies, or even reading previous blogs as I have address some of the above topics and will do so in upcoming blogs. You may only have one opportunity with a student as you never know what tomorrow holds. My prayer is that students  would know how wide, how high, how deep the love of Jesus is while on your shift. Make that moment count.

A member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) Alison has dedicated her time to developing her gift of Public Speaking so that her listeners would believe the truth that she shares and to raise up other strong youth communicator’s in Canada. She has been speaking full time for four years and is currently enrolled in Youth Speakers University.
Speaking Tips are from Alison’s Public Speaking Enhancement Workshop for any inquires message her today. http://www.inspiringteengreatness.com