The Ice Breaker - Part 2

A couple weeks ago I put up part of a chapter of a book I'm slowly working on about how to put together quality youth lessons quickly.  This is another part of the chapter called "The Ice Breaker"

Question Types

The main point of the Ice Breaker is to ask a question that is easily accessible to everyone.  This means that it generally needs to stay on the lighter side.  Try to keep in mind when choosing an Ice Breaker that it is best to connect it back to the lesson or season at hand.  A practical example of this is while studying John 9 (where Jesus places mud into the eyes of the blind man), the ice breaker for that evening was “If you had to go without one of your senses which would it be?”  This is generally a much heavier ice breaker than I care to ask, but it fit the story and allowed the kids to ponder on what it might be like to lose a sense.  This creates a mental connection for the kids when you start to dig deeper into the topic you are discussing that evening.  One of the main things to remember is that your goal is to create an atmosphere where the people involved in the small group feel welcomed.  This is achieved by ensuring that the barrier to entry into the conversation is low.
Types of questions to avoid: 

1)      Vague - How do you feel about the color white?

2)      Personal - Have you ever had someone touch you inappropriately?

3)      Theological – What is your opinion on predestination?

4)      Controversial – What do you think about gay marriage?

5)      Political – Are you voting for Obama or Romney?

To reiterate, the purpose of the Ice Breaker is to allow for a small period of light hearted discussion to occur.  If you are asking the wrong questions, it can create large heated discussions that can be very difficult to bring people back from. It can also cause people to shut down completely, and that can often be worse than a heated debate.  This is also the most difficult part of the evening to contain or keep kids under control.  Many times the questions will create an explosion of stories, memories, side discussions and funny moments.  For that very reason it is also perhaps one of my favorite parts of the entire lesson.  While the conversations are never theological or deep, they do provide for some great memories.
Youth put on masks all day long, often spending much of their waking hours pretending to be someone they’re not.  They may be hiding from their friends, family, church members, etc.   What I have found over the years is that asking non-threatening, silly questions can often break down the walls that a youth may have been putting up all day.  Sharing that moment of laughter with a youth whose family is going through a divorce might not help fix the pain he is experiencing, but it could give him some reprieve.
Some tips on creating a good Ice Breaker:

1) Make it easy to answer and ensure it does not require a lot of thinking.

2) Create an open discussion amongst the kids.

3) Relate it back to the lesson.

Example: Your lesson is about world hunger, and you open with the question “What is your favorite food?”

My favorite types of questions are the ones that make kids dream big. 

·         If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

·         If money was no object what would buy?

·         If you could do anything with the rest of your life what would it be?

Questions like these create space for the kids to share their dreams, ambitions, and inner secrets without being too personal or revealing on the surface.  Returning later to these statements at the right time can and will give you opportunities to dig deeper into what a youth might be thinking or feeling.