Facilitating Good Small Group Discussions

Here are 6 tips for facilitating a good small group discussion in youth ministry:

1.  Environment

-Limit the group size

-Sit in a way where everyone can hear and participate fully (ie. All sitting on chairs, on floor, standing)

2.  Tone

-You set the tone as the leader

-Start with a  prayer where appropriate and have everyone introduce themselves

-Pledge confidentiality

3.  Navigate

-Your job is to keep the conversation on track

-Don’t focus on one person and don’t let one person monopolize the conversation

-Give people the option to pass

4.  Facilitate

-Your job is to wrap and connect points, and keep everyone involved

-Share from your own experiences when appropriate, but don’t preach and don’t feel you have to comment on every single answer given by a group member

-Be prepared to summarize the group discussion if necessary

5.  Silence

-Silence is not always a bad thing

-Let the members think about what they are going to say

-Don’t always jump in to save the discussion

6.  Encourage

-Affirm the members for sharing

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo     

The Spiritual SAT

This post also appears on The Youth Cartel blog here.

Sweaty palms. Loss of breath. Fear and panic.

These are some of the many symptoms different people experience when they are confronted with life’s most unforgiving tutelage… the test.

I can remember the first time I wrote a mid-term exam in university. I had studied more intensely than I ever had before, and had even decided to sleep on top of some of the study material I was supposed to memorize hoping that osmosis would allow for more absorption and retention of information in my nearly exhausted body.

Exam day came. I entered the room, found a place to sit and began feverishly attacking the test with great vigor. Two hours later I found myself back in my dorm room, mentally and physically exhausted, hoping that I had done enough to pass the test and continue on with my course studies.

Several days later, I received confirmation that I not only passed the test, but did better than I was hoping to do because of something called the bell curve that my professor had decided to implement for this particular exam.

This was probably one of the most significant times where I took notice of a metric, something that is used to measure the success of failure of an individual. This bell curve pushed me into an entirely different category than what I had labeled myself to be, and I wasn’t too sure how I felt about it.

The Spiritual SAT

I think one of the most challenging facets of ministry is measuring success. We’ve learned through studies like the Willow Creek Reveal, Sticky Faith and Hemorrhaging Faith that what we’ve typically used to measure the spiritual success in others isn’t working. Our metric seem wrong. These studies have shown us that we cannot assume a person’s attendance at a religious activity will develop long-term transformation in their life. But we still have this desire to measure how successful we might be, and so we continue to utilize the broken metric. The metric; the Spiritual SAT. The test that doesn’t really tell us anything that matters, but something we continue to point to cause we don’t know what else to do.

Maybe I’m the only youth pastor in the world that will ever say this, but I’m tired of the metric.

This test that we’ve created doesn’t tell us anything that we don’t already know, and it places a label and structure on the lives of teenagers that they don’t need and aren’t asking for. I’m tired of asking teens to find our fit instead of allowing them to find how they fit into the life of the community they so desperately need to connect to. I don’t want to view teenagers through the lens of attendance, or spiritual merits achieved. I want to see them for who they’ve been created to be. Intentionally flawed masterpieces.

It’s time to find a new metric; a new way of defining what success looks like. Success should be based on character development and life transformation instead of attendance and compliance. Death to the Spiritual SAT.! Life to a new creation!

Define your success. What does that look like?

Connect with Jason here Jason has lived in Calgary, Alberta Canada since 1995, and been a youth pastor since 2001. He is married to the love of his life, Bonny, and together they have three incredible children: Saydie, Cannon and Deklon. Jason possesses a desire to see youth, parents and families become who God created them to be through loving and living like Jesus. He currently serves on staff at Centre Street Church in Calgary. He loves hockey, playing guitar, writing and creating environments and opportunities where others can realize their potential in Jesus while experiencing the full life He promised to those who follow Him!

GIRL PAIN, GIRL DRAMA, GIRL ANSWERS

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA! Are you experiencing girl drama in your classroom or youth group? You use to have tons of girls coming out to small groups, but then something happened?  Where are they? DRAMA HAPPENED ON FACEBOOK WHEN YOU WEREN’T WATCHING!! 

Maybe you are not seeing drama but you are picking up that girls are starving for love. You’ve got a whole line of girls waiting to give you a hug and talk to you after you shared your message. You see the look of hurt and longing in their eyes and their sheer numbers overwhelms you. You just want to father them all if you’re a male or hold them tighter if you’re a female.

On Wednesday’s I will be sharing with you some insights on how to effectively minister and empower teen and young adult females.

DOES IT REALLY MATTER? 

HEY!!!  I delivered a workshop at the Guidance Counselors Association Convention. The workshop was entitled Bringing the Best Out In Girls. The response moved me as the room was packed with standing room only. The School Counselors are concerned and they are looking for answers something is going on and what happens to our young girls matter. Your girls are facing an onslaught of negative images, words and messages that are wearing down their self-image, self-worth and their value which in turn affects their faith.

Youth Worker, IT’S TIME FOR INTERVENTION!

You are strategically positioned and the influence you have over young girls is no accident. Don’t shy away from it use it!

With the Supreme Court recently striking down the prostitution laws, you cannot deny that the devil is aggressively, targeting your female youth leaders, your sisters, wives and daughters in specific ways. BUT WHO’S GREATER? Our God and when the body works together we are as a whole stronger. That’s what this Canadian Youth Workers website is all about.

I will share insights with you that will help give you and your girls the upper hand. But this topic is vast and so I’ve also asked my friend Jane to tag team with me on these blogs. Jane Galbreath is an excellent resource on human trafficking local and abroad. As a research nut she is constantly sending me articles hot off the press that will help you stay in the loop as well. She also has incredible insight and understanding on girls who’ve gone through trauma. All these resources that we’ve gained, we want to share with you.

It’s going to be a good year, so check us out every Wednesday!

The Founder of the Young Woman of Power (YWOP) Conference, Alison develops programs that are designed to build girls confidence such as the YWOP PivotFWD workshop which she delivers in Calgary’s Youth Judicial System. Alison’s heart for young women is to see the statistics of violence against women decrease and to see females become counter culture/culturally dangerous by growing in true confidence. For more info or to book Alison as a speaker visit www.ywop.ca 

Awesome new resource on why youth leave the church

Before You Say Goodbye is an awesome new resource that came out late December that you and your sr. pastors will find very useful for helping your church understand why young people leave the church, and more importantly, how to get them back. 

Right from the beginning pages I was compelled to read on when challenged with the thought that Jesus' disciples were likely only between the ages of 14 to 21.

It’s a guide, related to the Hemorrhaging Faith research study, that's full of stories, advice, and answers to today’s top faith questions from Canadian youth and youth experts. It includes a free study guide that's being released in January so youth groups, families and churches can go through the material together. 

This book is being talked about as ‘the one book every Christian Youth and Young Adult needs to read.’ Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcLxEvaRPKw

It's also on promo for $6 before Jan 15th. Happy 2014 reading!

About me: I live a pretty simple life... trying to love God and treat others as good as myself... I epically fail at this but mercifully God loves me anyway... different cultures inspire me... the outdoors is my passion... I'm pursuing my MDIV / Masters in Counselling at Tyndale... I spent 22+ years in the skate / snowboard / entertainment / marketing / retail industry at the executive level... led the charge at West 49/Billabong for 12 of them... I've worked in youth ministry leadership roles for more years then I can count.. after many moons in the corporate world I switched to the dark side and am currently the Manager of Youth & Student Campaigns at World Vision Canada... but more then anything I love giving my heart to mentoring and helping youth! #lovelife #dreambig #keepitreal #socialjustice #jesusjustice I/T @cindymielke facebook.com/cindymielke

What age are students disengaging with church?

Question: what age are students disengaging with church?

Over the last 10 years, there has been a lot of research on the church 'dropout' rate. We've heard statistics about 85% of university aged students disappearing from the church. Recent Canadian studies have shown that there is more bleed before the end of high school than after. American studies have pointed to an even younger bleed point. What is it in your ministry? Have you followed your people (not just numbers)?  

Here is what I think....   write some comments below with a picture of your situation.

I think that, across Canada, the biggest point of drop out seems to be by grade 7. It appears to me, that the transition between children's ministry and youth ministry is the point at which we are losing up to 66% of our people! 
With the help of some youth ministry friends, I have tracked attendance for about 12 years in  a bunch of churches. 
On average (average doesn't mean it is normal - or should be normal) if you had 100 kids in your grade 2 Sunday School class, only 34 of those kids make it to attending your junior high by grade 7. There are a million reasons why.
Of those 34 that attend junior high in grade 7, only 15 are left by grade 12 graduation. Of those 15....   So, ya! We have lost 85% of our people through college!!

Over the last 10 years, I've worked with a lot of churches to try to solidify this important transition. We've seen some very cool things happen and some very creative things to bolster the transition. Hemorrhaging Faith research tells us that it is our transitions that are killing us.

What are you doing to intentionally transition kids from children's ministry to youth ministry?
Share your thoughts below!



Dave Brotherton was a youth pastor from 1984-2006 and now teaches youth ministry at Ambrose University College in Calgary. Dave is also the National Youth Guy for the Alliance churches in Canada and the director of Legacy Youth Conference. Dave is married to Lisa and they share 2 of the greatest kids in the world. Fishing, camping, and cheering on the Leafs are some of his favorite things. 
twitter: @oldbrotherdave

Keeping Your Composure

Jacob and Sean doing a final review of the readings before the start of Christmas Eve Mass.

My sons Sean and Jacob were chosen to proclaim the readings at the Christmas Eve Mass at our home parish of St. Paul's last week.  Both of them prepared very diligently - and it was indeed an honour that our pastor asked the two brothers to read at such an important celebration.

We arrived 40 minutes early so the boys could practice everything from their approach to how they would stand behind the microphone.  Once Mass started, Jake was first up.  For some reason - despite knowing that he was to read from the right side of the book - he proceeded to read from the left page.  Thus, he was reading the wrong thing.

A few words in, Jake caught himself, took a deep breath, and simply said, "I'm sorry" before embarking on the correct reading.  He completed the reading from Isaiah perfectly, unnerved by the 400-plus people in attendance.  As he returned to his seat, I leaned over and whispered to him, "Good job, son."

Needless to say, I was very proud of him.  Not only that he proclaimed God's word so well, but that he showed remarkable composure...especially for a 10 year-old.

It got me thinking of the many times we lose - or come close to losing - our composure in youth ministry.  It might be because of the unruly teen who always seems to get on our nerves.  Or maybe a skit or talk that we've practiced over and over becomes unglued at the worst time right before our eyes.  Or when a senior member of the church interrupts our gathering claiming that "they" had the room booked - even though we know they are wrong.

And my personal favourite:  when youth ministry is blamed any time something goes wrong, goes missing, gets messed up, or gets broken.

It's in adversity that our true character is exposed.  If we are in a right place with God and in our relationship with Jesus, we will be better prepared to handle situations in which things go wrong.  We need to have confidence that nothing impossible with God.  That if He leads us to it, He will lead us through it.

There's a reason why Philippians 4:13 is my favourite scripture:  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

So the next time that the LCD projector conks out on you during your youth night, crack a smile.  When the unflappable teen gives you a hard time, be thankful that she's there and that she's open to learning something.  And when your pastor gives you a hard time about numbers, remind him it's about quality and not quantity - that it's about souls and not attendance.

Through it all, make sure you keep your composure.

Just like my 10 year-old son Jacob.


Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo    

Conversations

Conversations are one of the most humbling, inspiring, deflating and empowering experiences that humans can have. Did you know that the average human being uses over 16,000 words on a daily basis?

With all the words that are being exchanged, do you ever wonder what is really being talked about? This past summer I sat down with some creative friends of mine to produce a video dedicated to conversations. Here is what we came up with:

How are you leveraging conversations with your family, friends, people in your ministry, volunteers and others to be a source of inspiration and joy? What other tips do you have to generate conversations that matter and have an impact on the lives of others?