REVIVE US REFLECT: What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Have you been in a discussion or an argument with someone and these words came out of your mouth, “That’s not what I said!” Frustration is usually not far behind those words. It’s a brutal feeling when someone takes what you said out of context or interprets what they heard through their own filter on life. It’s exasperating when you believe you explained something so eloquently and you were careful and intentional with your words, only to have the hearer translate it into something like, ‘You hate me!’ Or ‘You don’t think I’m good enough.’ 
“Aaagh, that’s not what I said!” have you been in that place as well? What about when people make negative assumptions about you, and they don’t even know you or have a relationship with you.

“Your prophets have said so many foolish things, false to the core. They did not save you from exile by pointing out your sins. Instead, they painted false pictures, filling you with false hope. Lamentations 2:14

 As I listen to this passage on my audio bible, I become very aware of how frustrating that must be. Time and time again throughout Jeremiah and Lamentations, God is warning Judah and Israel of what is to come, calling them to repent, or do as he says, and someone from some other place is speaking to the king or the influencers in the community declaring, “God said…” and it was the opposite of what God was communicating. I visualize God with His mouth open screaming, “I didn’t say that!!”

                           Tired of you tellin' the story your way

It's causin' confusion

You think it's okay…

Make Me Wanna Scream.

Michael Jackson - Scream

I took a moment to look inward and I urge you to do the same; Have you ever put words together or prepared messages or themes or spoken to individuals quoting God, but that was not what He wanted to say?

Camp season has begun. Some of you like me will be speaking at camps. Are you speaking what God wants you to speak?  Maybe you are camp chaplain, or the camp director and will be leading devotions for the counselors. Are you speaking what God wants you to speak? There will be junior counselors and senior counselors made up of volunteers, students and camp interns who will have opportunity to speak to campers one on one or in their cabins. Are they speaking what God wants them to say?

You can only speak what He is saying, if you have a relationship with Him and you take time to hear what He is saying. God told Jeremiah exactly what to say, and then he spoke it.

I had already written most of today’s blog earlier, but once I got down on my knees and asked for clarity, Holy Spirit shared with me what He actually wanted said and it was different from what I originally had. As I listened, I gently heard Him speak to my heart saying, “They are telling students what I have to say when they have no relationship with me.”

I Didn't Say That.

Youth worker. Is this you? Have you been caught up in the duties of life but have not personally heard from God for yourself in a long time? STOP! Stop speaking. START. Start listening. Holy Spirit cares about you. He’s got your youth, He’ll take care of your family, He wants you! You’ve been so far away from Him and you know it in your heart. You’ve got this whole itinerary this summer that you set up. He wants you to stop going, slow down and sit for a while. God cares about you too much to lose you. He can help you get back on track, but it starts with Him. Please it’s time for self-care. As a fellow youth worker, we all are a team. And when one is down and out of the game we feel it. I watched Costa Rica and Greece play in the world cup. One player on Costa Rica received a red card and was out of the game. These teams went into overtime and Costa Rica was exhausted. The goalie was hurt in so many places, yet they couldn’t sub him out because they used all of their substitutes. I felt for them. Look if you need to sit on the bench for a while to rest up so you’ve got legs again, then please do it because we want to keep you in the game! When you get a red card, the team is down a person, but when you have a sub, someone else comes out in your place. Do you need a break?  God will provide a substitution for you. I know you can’t see who it will be, but someone will come. Take a break and spend time with Him. 

If you are working with a team this summer, and you see that a student or counselor doesn’t have a relationship with God, please pastor them and have them take a time out for self-care which starts with God. Be watching for them so that there are no young counselors or parents that are creating confusion speaking a message that is contrary to the one God is giving.

Stop talking. Start Listening. Let Him speak to you. Allow time to resurrect your relationship with Him. Students need to hear what God is saying to them. As ministers of His word, we need to be clear so that our hearers can walk in clarity.

I’m praying for you. To whom this concerns.

Youth Speaker & Founder of the Young Woman of Power (YWOP), Alison hosts conferences and develops programs that are designed to build the confidence of youth such as the YWOP PivotFWD workshop which she delivers in Calgary’s Youth Judicial System and the citywide Young Women of Power Conference. She considers herself to be a pastor to those who don’t want one or don’t know they need one. For more info or to book Alison as a speaker visit www.ywop.ca 

Canadian Youth Worker Interview with Jason Ballard

Jason Ballard works with Alpha Canada. He's in love with his wife Rachel, their son Hudson and Jesus. Jason spends his time creating resources and helping local youth workers learn to use Alpha to create spiritual conversations in their ministry setting. Watch our interview as we talk about all things Canadian and all things youth ministry.

Canadian Youth Worker Interview with Brett Ullman

Canadian author and speaker Brett Ullman joins us this week to chat about all things Canadian, youth ministry, his personal journey and so much more. Share it, like it, comment on it. We'd love to hear from you!

REVIVE US SERIES No. 3: The Youth Church For The Poor

The views and concerns addressed in this blog series are bigger than our youth. It is a reflection of how Christians young and old view the church and what we feel we need to do to make Jesus look cool.  To expose how we got here, each blog in this series will describe a church concept that students came up with, followed by a personal challenge from myself or one of the other panel members in hope of a personal revival in God’s people.

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. (Revelations 2:7)

Revive Us O Lord.

For a Quick Recap on the Series Click Here

James 1:26-27

26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. 27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

There were six students in this group from a completely different background; Dutch Reformed, Alliance, Pentecostal and a couple of students who didn’t know what their church was. For their class project they created ‘The Church of Hope’ with a primary focus on ministering to the poor. Their church was located right in the downtown core of the city where the poor could easily access it. On staff they had a pastor and associate two counselors and a social worker. One of the ministries they provided was a residence to the homeless. For those who didn’t have a place to stay, housing would be provided along with a place of worship that had a soup kitchen attached to it.

With this group of students the physical needs of the poor would be met but after hearing their presentation I had to ask, is that all that Jesus and the church has to offer the poor?  

One of the members of the panel was a gentleman who worked for the Salvation Army. He inquired, “So how will you sustain, the counselors, social workers and full time pastor with a church that is ministering to the poor? Where will you get your money from?” A male student slouched over with dark brown hair and answered with an apathetic voice. “That was not a part of the assignment. We were not asked to figure that out. Money was not an issue.”

A teacher from the school was also sitting on the panel and asked the students, “Why do you want to do this? What was your motivation?” She was having a hard time getting a clear answer from them. So she asked another way,  “What are the beliefs of your church?” The same student responded, “We’re not suppose to have denominations.”

I helped rephrase the question, “What is your church philosophy what do you want to see happen with the poor?  What do you want them to believe?” Silence. Then the boy with the monotone voice replied, “We weren’t told to do that.”

As frustrating as these responses were, I realized that the students’ views are a refection of what we as Christians and youth workers have instilled in our students. They are our disciples, following us. But something has gone wrong in the discipleship process. What I heard from these students doesn’t reflect my heart for the poor, or does it? The students have the actions down pat, but the motivation, the heart behind why they do what they do is lacking. Their attitude towards the poor is...We do what we are supposed to do.

James 2:14-25 talks about a Faith with no action or deeds. James uses the example of seeing a brother or sister in need and offering them nothing. He says that kind of faith is useless. This message is so clear in my head, faith without works is dead. I believe it is a passage that guides so many of us Gen X’ers and older Millennial’s because of what we have seen the past generation model.

We organize mission trips, we collect offerings to support work overseas, we hand out sandwiches, collect school supplies, we have food or clothes drives and we have a sponsor a child to make sure we do not forget the poor.

This is all great but what are our students picking up? What kind of disciples are we making? Have we swung so far to the works side that we’ve neglected the faith element when it comes to ministering to the poor?

Isaiah 61

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God. ,
to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.

In Luke 4 Jesus reads this passage of scripture and says it is being fulfilled. Jesus was empowered to preach, to heal, to comfort, to set prisoners free.

Luke 7:22 John’s disciples asked Jesus are you the Messiah, the one we’ve been waiting for. Then Jesus tells John’s disciples, “Go back to John and tell him what you have seen and heard—the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor.” NLT

When we set up mission trips what is our purpose?  Do we build houses to demonstrate Jesus nice-ness?  Why do we have students share their testimony? To give them ministering opportunities? Is that all Jesus can offer the poor?

Our students are mimicking what we do and from our example they have learned that it is good to give to the poor. But Jesus offers so much more. Fellow youth worker, do you believe that the word of God brings Good News to the poor?  What is that Good News?

He is Jehovah Jirah. The provider. I remember my first miracle at the age of 5 when God miraculously provided $100 for my family after I cheerfully gave a dollar. As a single woman starting my speaking business with nothing, Jesus walked with me through extreme low places but I’m not in that place anymore! Jesus is hope. For the person on disability who is just scraping by but can never get ahead, Jesus can heal them. For the parent struggling with mental health, Jesus can bring comfort to their heart, the street kids in your town or city that are regularly in trouble with the law and are on probation, Jesus can set that kid free! Do your students know that the gospel of Jesus Christ can help bring the poor out of their poverty? Do WE know that?!

Do WE believe that God can break the cycles of poverty in our society? God is a champion for the poor He can bring change to social structures that keep the poor poor. He can remove corrupt leaders, break a pattern of addiction in a family line, God is in the business of salvation for us all and that salvation creates transformation and restoration in our lives and in the world, that is the Good News we have to offer the poor.

Youth worker, my prayer is for revival in our hearts, that you would seek and catch God’s vision for the poor in your sphere of influence. What does Holy Spirit want to do? How can it be brought about?  Once you’ve caught it, live it out and share the vision with those that you are discipling so that the next generation of Christians are not apathetic monotone doers but are people of faith and deeds.

To Follow the Revive Us Series  
Houston We Have A Problem: The School Project
Disciples of the "Buddy" Church
Youth Speaker & Founder of the Young Woman of Power (YWOP), Alison hosts conferences and develops programs that are designed to build the confidence of youth such as the YWOP PivotFWD workshop which she delivers in Calgary’s Youth Judicial System and the citywide Young Women of Power Conference. She considers herself to be a pastor to those who don’t want one or don’t know they need one. For more info or to book Alison as a speaker visit www.ywop.ca 

Leadership Posture and Tone

Photo Credit: texasgurl (Creative Commons)

If you have a piano, take a minute and pick out two keys, one black and one white directly adjacent to each other. Pound on those keys as loudly and quickly as possible. You'll probably give yourself a headache from the painful sound emitting from the keyboard. You've just created auditory tension. 

Now, keep one finger placed on a white key, then shift the other to the key exactly one octave higher. The harmonious sound will ring true in your ears (as long as the piano is in tune!). This has been a basic lesson in tone and harmony, and there's a ministry leadership lesson to be learned in this:

How I speak matters as much as what I speak. McLuhan put it this way: the medium is the message. 

Colossians 4 puts it another way: 

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. 

My communication should be wise, patient, and full of grace and empathy. 2 Timothy 4 speaks of correcting, rebuking, and encouraging with great patience and careful instruction. (Key phrase: with great patience.) James 1 tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

If what I am saying to you is 100% true and beneficial for you, but my tone and posture are ones of judgment, condemnation, or self-centered frustration, then I am adding the static of arrogance to my message. I come across as quick to speak and anger, while forgetting the patience required for listening and being present. On the other hand, if my posture and tone are gracious and gentle, yet I cannot speak without conviction or truth, then perhaps my message isn't worth hearing in the first place.

Think about how you're communicating with fellow leaders in your church / ministry / team. Tone matters. If the medium is the message, then how we approach a fellow leader in our communication is just as important as the information we're sharing. A sarcastic, whiny, or passive-aggressive vocal tone is creating unnecessary relational withdrawals. Leaders of organizations don't need whiners; they need people who can communicate the truth in a humble-yet-confident manner. Communicate verbally with a tone of grace and clarity, finding a healthy balance between boldness and subtlety.

Healthy communication also includes physical presence. Slouching in staff meetings, walking brusquely by offices without greeting, or avoiding eye contact all send a negative message. If I'm chatting with someone and they've positioned their body away from me, looking like they want to leave at any moment, I'm less apt to share with them. Shift your emotional state by shifting your physical state. Being physically and mentally present with fellow leaders fosters trust and healthier communication.

Ask yourself: what messages am I sending through my tone and posture? Even if the content of your message is filled with grace and love, your tone and posture might be communicating something entirely different.

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B.C. Youth Workers: Open Vancouver is coming to Trinity Western University on September 26-27. Check out the Open manifesto, send a proposal to be a presenter, and contact the organizing team with any questions!

Anatomy of Effectively Planning Ahead

Planing ahead at the end of June is always hard. Who wants to start thinking or even planning strategically about September through June for next school year when the summer this year has only just begun?

Effectively Planning Ahead can be broken down by using a simple template. I've used this template for years and each year I tweak it a little bit more or a little bit less based on the upcoming year. Get you calendar out for 2014-15 and lets get going.

My planning template consists of six components.

1. Non-negotiable: weekly programs and seasonal events that always happen every year go right into your calendar without any hesitation (e.g. winter retreat, mission trip car wash fundraiser in May, fall kick off event, Friday night you or Sunday school). Make sure you have the church calendar for the next year so you don't double book stuff on missions weekend etc...
2. Curriculum: you need to be praying about this and writing notes down about where God what you to go with curriculum and then evaluate the curriculums to get the right one. This can be done by yourself or in a group setting with your leadership team.
3. Journalling: through out your past year, you must be taking notes about everything. Key questions parents have asked, how can we prevent someone from breaking their arm in our pillow fight night, what worked well at your Christmas banquet, what failed when kids got on the roof and the a neighbour called the cops. These are then applied or thoughtfully consider for the next year. 
4. Next Steps: what are those next steps that you need to provide for your students or volunteer leaders to challenge them to go to that next level? Do you need to start a student leadership team or recruit more volunteers? Do you need to focus on Spiritual gifts this year or plan an overseas mission trip?
5. Share the Plan: after you have everything planned out you need to go through several beta tests (3-4) with three groups of people; 2-3 key volunteers and students from your leadership team, church staff, 2-3 key parents.
6. Publish: send out a basic 2014-15 calendar that only marks out key dates ad has no details. You don't need to list your Friday night theme from September through June but you should have you Friday nights in the calendar.

Two key things you should have on every basic calendar is this: 1) youth ministry schedule subject to change without notice. 2) Friday night youth will not be on these four dates: ____, ____, ____, _____.

@jeffsmyth

Time for Some Prayer Games ...

Do remember that Christmas song about Rudolph?  You know, it's the one with the lyrics about 'all of the reindeer' bullying a poor red-nosed under-dog by calling him names and not allowing him to join them in their reindeer games.  Sounds like they may have been middle school reindeer!

Although I actually have no idea what the 'Reindeer Games' actually are, I have spent time playing 'Prayer Games' with students over the years and if Rudolph would have been around, I'd have invited him to join in too.

Seriously though, if the teens you get to serve and minister to are anything like the youth where I live, they love the concept of prayer and may even enjoy practising it in private, but when it comes to approaching the Lord with words in a corporate setting with their peers, the walls go up and the eyes immediately look down at the floor.  This is especially true for new believers or students who are pre-Christian.

So how do you get teens to get better at coming before their heavenly Father?  I've found that the best way to learn to pray is by praying.  Here are some 'games' that might kick-start this essential spiritual discipline in your ministry.  If you have others, please leave your ideas in the comment area below.

Prayer Game #1: International (Korean) Prayer

What is it?
My friend Denise spent a year in Korea and mentioned that now that she is back home, she has her small group often spend time praying like the ethnic Koreans at the international church she attended. Basically, she has her group huddle together, pick a topic, and pray out-loud all at once.

Note: at this point many of my charismatic friends are going, "Um, that's not very original Dan", but the truth is, many churches would see this as totally new and out of their comfort zone. 

How to do it?
Get your small group, youth group, etc. into a huddle ... give them a topic as well as some basic information on how they might pray for it (this helps those who aren't very good at prayer).  Then, announce that you'll be giving them ___ seconds to pray out-loud about it (*I generally start with a 15 second time period and will increase it from there.)

Let students know that, if they run out of things to say, they can listen to those around them for a moment and steal lines from others as they overhear them.

This 'game' gets people comfortable hearing their own voice praying out-loud, and the benefit is that it doesn't embarrass teens by putting them on the spot with all their friends focussing on them.  Plus,  the time limits mean that it's a short enough period that people generally don't run out of things to pray. Finally, because 'everyone is doing it', teens who are not Christians don't feel "outed"!

Prayer Games #2: Divide and Conquer

What is it?
I remember speaking at a retreat once that was targeted at college students and focused on the topic of prayer.  The weekend involved 20-somethings from different churches and I wanted to do an "icebreaker" so that they could meet each other and move into some prayer time right away.  What I came up with was this fun little game that worked really well and is easily transferred to youth groups.

How to do it?
Handout pens and paper to everyone (we did this when they walked in the door) and have teens write their name on it and either a statement about how they are expecting to grow in their faith during the retreat / coming semester / evening event / etc.  As another option, students could write down a question they would like to ask God to speak to them about during the retreat / coming semester / evening event / etc.

Divide the youth into two groups (just call them group 'A' and 'B'). Collect group B's papers and hang onto them for a minute. Collect group A's papers and re-distribute them to group B.

Group B people must find the person from group A named on their paper, introduce themselves, and then pray for the item listed on the paper.

When completed, handout group B's paper to group A and repeat the exercise.

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Dan King is a Pastor to Youth and Young Adults in Parksville, on Vancouver Island.  He's a 20+ year veteran of youth ministry and has worked in large and small churches across Western Canada.  He is a husband and father of two teenagers, loves skim boarding, collects Nike sneakers, and enjoys practicing the spiritual discipline that calls him to 'be still and know'.  Read the online "Leadership and Youth Ministry" magazine he edits and contributes to or follow him @danKing_live