YOUR FEMALES ONLY SMALL GROUP: You Have One Right?

What is the purpose of your all girls small group? Do you have one?  You need one, not just to go through a new curriculum. Girls are desperate for a group that addresses issues that teaches them how to do life in this culture.

Have you visited ASK.com lately? You can ask anything and ASK.com will have an answer as anyone can respond to question and the best answer is posted to the top. If you have any questions about sex there are answers there, from G-spots to how do two girls have sex? Is that where your Junior High girls gets their information from? I am not saying that this would be a perfect topic for Valentine’s next week. NO!!

The issues you are not speaking to your girls about, they are looking to other sources. Below our some guidelines and resources for your all girls small group.

*ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE SEVEN FACTORS THAT EFFECT WHETHER OR NOT A GIRL WILL BE AT RISK OR EMPOWERED?

1.     SELF-ESTEEM/SELF-IMAGE

2.     FAMILY

3.     FRIENDSHIPS

4.     DATING RELATIONSHIPS

5.     SCHOOL CULTURE

6.     MENTAL HEALTH/HEALTHY WAYS OF COPING WITH STRESS

7.     FAITH (Girls who beliefs and religious values are least likely to be involved in at risk behavior)

There are many topics that you could tackle within each factor. Rotate through them. Have your students put together questions related to one of the areas that they would like addressed.

MEN & WOMEN OF THE BIBLE WERE HUMAN LIKE US

If I don’t meditate on scripture long enough, I miss the backstory on a character in the bible. As a result my message tends to come out spirit heavy lacking any earthly good. When your students think of Judas Iscariot what comes to their mind, what comes to your mind? The man who betrayed Jesus, the worst man in the bible, one of those characters that you can kill off in a tv series season finale. Judas committed suicide. Have you ever felt overwhelming shame? That you really screwed up, messing up someone’s life because of the choices you made and regret? Do you hate you and think or feel that your life is over, that you should never have been born? We just passed mental health awareness day January 28^th let’s talk about that. Judas wasn’t just a bad guy. He was a guy who messed up and believed there was no other option.

YOU SHARE

Have your female leaders share or women from your church. Tell them what the main message is and the scripture passage you will be using. Have the ladies share a personal story that illustrates that point. For example tonight some female teachers led the girls devotional. Message: Issues of Tude. (Attitude) Scripture Passage: Story of Jonah. Personal Stories: Attitude towards people of authority, Attitude of that is beneath me, Attitude towards friends – Domineering. The girls in the room listened, laughed and loved their stories. They shared their failure, what they learned and their talks were so practical.

LET THEM TALK

“Are there any questions?” “What do you think about what I just said? Do you agree or disagree?” Leave spaces in your small group for girls to talk. Many females process their thoughts by talking to one another. I will have a student ask me a question, and just before I answer, Holy Spirit slows me down enough to not answer but ask that student a question like, “That’s a great question, why do you ask?” or “What do you think?” These questions, allow the female to speak further to the issue. I often find when they do, they share something brilliant answering their own question better than I could. Then I take notes.  

*Research of Zahra Shamji for a Female Adolescent Workshop Addressing Increased Crime Rates and Underlying Causal Factors, Risk Factors, and Protective factors. Alison Springer went through her research and identified the Six Factors that need to be addressed with teen girls.

Alison D. Springer

The Founder of the Young Woman of Power (YWOP) Conference, Alison develops programs that are designed to build girls confidence such as the YWOP PivotFWD workshop which she delivers in Calgary’s Youth Judicial System. Alison’s heart for young women is to see the statistics of violence against women decrease and to see females become counter culture/culturally dangerous by growing in true confidence.

Keep the Towel - Overcoming Discouragement in Ministry

A volunteer in our high school ministry once asked me, "how do you do it? How do you keep going in youth ministry when there are nights like this?" By this, he meant that it felt like his grade 9 boys small group had taken one step forward and twelve steps backward. Offensive jokes, constant distractions, and a serious lack of interest in anything related to the Bible or Jesus.

How do you keep going when it appears that nothing is working? Great question. It's one I wrestle with at least once a month. Well, maybe once a week. Okay, A LOT. We can start to feel beat up by ministry. Here are some thoughts that keep me going when I want to throw in the towel:

Remember your calling. When I am discouraged, I have to come back to the specific vocational calling God has revealed. It's not about me and my own frustrations; nor is it about about my personal triumphs. My motivation must stem from outside myself in the mission God has invited me to join. I think of the prophet Jeremiah. Called by God at a young age to be God's voice to His people, Jeremiah preached and prayed and prophesied for his entire life. The result? No one listened, the people continued their downward spiral into sin, and ultimately were dragged away into exile while Jerusalem burned. Was Jeremiah successful? Not by our standards. Zero converts, tons of sinners, and the building burned down. Was he faithful and obedient to the calling God gave him? Yes. That has to be the standard for success.

Define success in long-term holistic fruit. This is one of my ministry values. Trust God in the process of growth. He often works much slower than our fast-paced Internet-influenced minds would like. I cannot define my overall success in youth ministry by the immediate. I am not trying to create Godly teenagers; I am trying to foster Godly adults. I want them to be following Jesus decades from now, not just for one evening's discussion or when they participate in my program. So when one night goes really poorly--or really well--I must view it as a tiny piece in the larger picture. Remember: there's always next time.

Pace appropriately. The small group the volunteer leads is a group of grade 9 boys, and their delinquent actions were very congruent with all grade 9 boy stereotypes. In discipleship, we have to slow down and pace alongside someone in their spiritual journey. We must be present with them where they're at, even if we want them to be so much further along. Our expectations need to be high, but they also must be realistic. Discipleship for a grade 9 boy in high school is remarkably different than a first-year student in university.

Remember Jesus. He's the one who transforms hearts anyway. We are just guides ands curators along the journey. We pray that He would somehow work in and through us as conduits for His love and grace. Just look at His own disciples--they were a bunch of loud-mouth idiots who often misunderstood what He said and just plain didn't get it. Plus, one of them sold Him out to have Him killed, and they all abandoned Him in His darkest hour. These are the guys who ended up changing the entire world in the name of Christ. If the Son of God doesn't have a "perfect" record with His disciples, perhaps we can give ourselves a bit more grace.

Keep the towel. Don't give up on ministry with young people! 

What would you add? What keeps you going when you're discouraged in ministry? Share in a comment.

A version of this post originally appeared on The Mayward Blog here.

Joel Mayward is a pastor, writer, husband, and father living in Langley, British Columbia. He’s been serving in youth ministry since 2003, and is currently the Pastor of Youth and Young Adult Ministries at North Langley Community Church. A writer for numerous youth ministry publications and author of Leading Up: Finding Influence in the Church Beyond Role and Experience, Joel writes about youth ministry, film, theology, and leadership at his blog, joelmayward.blogspot.ca.

One of Canada's Best Youth Ministry Family Gatherings

Today's Teens Conference
I have been attending #TTC for over 10 years and it keeps getting better every year. What I love about it; it's a one day conference that provides a Friday night for parents, the next day brings a full Saturday with specific tracks designed for students and youth workers. All of this happens within a 24hr period. It's a day that is affordable, it's one of Canada's largest youth ministry family gatherings. The only downside is that it's only location is Toronto.

I have been involved with TTC as a workshop presenter and attender and it is one of the best conferences that I have ever been a part of. If you live within a 2-3 hours drive Today's Teens which is scheduled for Feb. 21-22, you need to make this a priority to attend.

YOU WILL EXPERIENCE ALL IN ONE DAY:

OVER 30 WORKSHOPS FOR YOUTH WORKERS

OVER 18 WORKSHOPS FOR STUDENTS

2 GENERAL SESSIONS FOR YOUTH WORKERS

2 GENERAL SESSIONS FOR STUDENTS

1 INTERACTIVE "TOGETHER" EXPERIENCE FOR STUDENTS & YOUTH WORKERS

100’s OF RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE

30 EXHIBITORS

GREAT WELCOME BAG AT BEGINNING OF CONFERENCE

SPECIAL MUSICAL GUESTS / BREAK-DANCERS THROUGHOUT THE DAY

Main Speakers:
Parents night and Youth Worker Track: Mark Devries
Student Track: Mike Gordon

You can follow this event on Facebook and Twitter

Today's Teens Promo Downloads:
- Brochure
- Poster

TTC Registration

Today's Teens: Feb 22, 2014

BE SURE TO REGISTER EARLY AS WE HAD OVER (opens Nov 1, 2013)


1600 Attended last year

This one-day experience is an affordable conference that is able to bring together worldwide recognized speakers, many local youth ministry leaders, an interactive learning experience, a host of free resources and access to more of the newest supplies.  This is more than just a conference, it is an annual experience that has been partnering with youth ministries across Ontario to see more youth effectively engaging and living out the message of Jesus.
The TODAY’S TEENS CONFERENCE has been one of the leading youth ministry conference for the last 29 years.  As the times have changed, so has this one-day experience.  This year we will continue to have specifically designed programs for youth workers and students while providing an additional special parent’s night on the Friday.  It is amazing to think that in one weekend there can be one conference that caters to so many needs - why give up an extra weekends, when you can get everyone equipped together in one place.  So we want to work with you this year to be able to make it a whole weekend experience for your ministry. 
The future of young people is our passion at Youth Unlimited.....  We see their unlimited possibilities and want to help them by addressing their personal, material, and spiritual needs.  We know that as a youth worker you share the same passion.  It is our goal to assist you with high quality training that will help you take your youth to a higher level of commitment.  We have a great line up of speakers and music that we believe will go a long way to helping you do the best job possible of reaching young people for Christ.

  We've spent months preparing with your team in mind—from volunteers to veterans, from novices to know-it-alls.  After 29 years of being committed to equipping and resourcing the needs of youth ministry across Ontario, we are just as committed and passionate to partner with local ministries as they dream to impact their communities for Jesus. 

Meditation: A weird waste of time...

...or is it?  Are you feeling overworked, can't keep up with the pace, too much work? I love what I do, and I'm passionate about social justice, but the volume of work is draining. Check out this video from Ken Shigematsu, senior pastor of Tenth Church in Vancouver, BC for some life changing views that he gained during a deep spiritual journey.



Ken is an energetic and creative communicator who's outward energy is fed by a deeply contemplative personal life. He doesn't have any less crises then the rest of us, yet he's managing them a heck of a lot better. Before entering full-time ministry, he worked for the Sony Corporation in Tokyo. Ken is also the author of the bestseller God in My Everything. 

About me: I live a pretty simple life... trying to love God and treat others as good as myself... I epically fail at this but mercifully God loves me anyway... different cultures inspire me... the outdoors is my passion... I'm pursuing my MDIV / Masters in Counselling at Tyndale... I spent 22+ years in the skate / snowboard / entertainment / marketing / retail industry at the executive level... led the charge at West 49/Billabong for 12 of them... I've worked in youth ministry leadership roles for more years then I can count.. after many moons in the corporate world I switched to the dark side and am currently the Manager of Youth & Student Campaigns at World Vision Canada... but more then anything I love giving my heart to mentoring and helping youth! #lovelife #dreambig #keepitreal #socialjustice #jesusjustice I/T @cindymielke facebook.com/cindymielke

Doin' it Old School - an old idea that might work great in this digital world

Sometimes an idea from a different 'era' comes around again and is not just novel, but creatively different. Connecting kids, encouraging, affirming, creating memories, and causing reflection can be as simple as licking a stamp....

Dave Brotherton was a youth pastor from 1984-2006 and now teaches youth ministry at Ambrose University College in Calgary. Dave is also the National Youth Guy for the Alliance churches in Canada, the director of Legacy Youth Conference, and a junior high volunteer in his church. Dave is married to Lisa and they share 2 of the greatest kids in the world. Fishing, camping, and cheering on the Leafs are some of his favorite things. 
twitter: @oldbrotherdave

The Importance of Planning and Execution

This past Tuesday night, I was the blessed to be an "accomplice" in my buddy Mike's marriage proposal to his girlfriend Jennifer.  It was an amazing and unforgettable night, in large part because Jenn had no idea that the proposal was coming and she was caught completely off-guard.

Thankfully, she said yes...haha.

Mike had been planning the proposal for the past two months, and in the last week in particular we exchanged a flurry of emails, texts, and phone calls as we finalized the details.  Our plan was quite elaborate and quite brilliant if I may say so myself...as was the execution.  The acting on the other hand....

It got me to thinking about the importance of planning and execution in youth ministry.  Now I admit that I'm the first one to say that youth ministry should be about people and not programs.  And that we shouldn't spend more time preparing skits and talks than hanging out with young people or praying for them.

But it's amazing how much a difference a well-planned night or event makes in the eyes of teens.  When a night flows well, when the transitions are smooth, and when the leaders seem to know what's coming up next, it adds to the overall positive experience for the participants.  In general, it will keep them more engaged and hopefully wanting to come back.

Granted, different youth leaders have different gifts.  Some youth leaders are more adept at "winging it" than others.  But "winging it" should really be the exception and not the norm.

Thus, I encourage you to spend a proper amount of time in reviewing details - big and small.  Skits need to be well-rehearsed (this isn't Whose Line is it Anyway?).  Same goes for teachings and testimonies.  Have youth leaders review the small group discussion questions before gathering into groups.  And don't forget about transitions between different facets - there is nothing worse than a bunch of "dead time" because you forgot to test the LCD projector or forgot to get into costume for the closing skit.

Sure, it's going to take more time and preparation.   But the young people are worth it.

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo     

Parents - Allies or Enemies?

This post is also featured on the Youth Cartel blog here.

When I first started out in youth ministry I thought my role was to be everything a teen's parents could never be in their life. I focused on being edgy, cool, hip and of course up to speed on pop culture.

Then something happened. I myself became a parent.

So what was my new role as a youth worker going to be now that I was parent myself? Did this eliminate my identity as a hip, cool and with-it youth pastor?

The truth is, being a parent has enhanced my ability to both pastor and parent. Neither of these roles are mutually exclusive, but somehow they have blended together to help me reshape how I lead families in the present and into the future. Here are three things that I'm learning about working with parents in ministry.

1. Parents aren't the enemy. We've all had negative interaction with parents I'm sure, but these experiences don't make parents bad people. Parenting is the most difficult job on the planet. Add into the mix the explorative tendencies teens possess, and you get an emotionally charged scenario 9 times out of 10. Parents are passionate about their kids, and sometimes their passion is mis-communicated as anger, rage or displeasure. Wise youth leaders find ways to disarm emotionally charged confrontations and turn them into win-win scenarios for all parties. Parents sometimes just need someone to listen...just like teens do. I wonder if we spent more time listening to the stories and needs of parents if we'd build greater partnerships with them?

2. Parents need to be loved & valued too. If you're constantly told that you aren't doing a good job, wouldn't you begin to believe it? Most teens (like most human beings) have no problem telling people when things aren't working well for them, but when it comes to sharing encouragement, they might struggle to do so. Consider your next upcoming parents gathering. Spend a few moments encouraging and inspiring parents instead of asking them to change something they do right away, you might find that they are more willing to consider your ideas once you've spent some time listening to them.

3. Parents want to belong & fit in. Often times parents feel isolated in their parenting struggles or wins with their kids. The family schedule is usually oriented around that activities of the children. Parents often sacrifice their own desires and needs for socialization for the sake of their child's development. Are your parent connection times more about information being given, or relationships between parents being built? The most powerful gift you can ever offer another human being is to help them see that they aren't alone in life. Parents long to belong and fit someplace...is your ministry to families a place where they can do that? 

What are you learning about working with parents? Post your ideas below!

Jason has lived in Calgary, Alberta Canada since 1995, and been a youth pastor since 2001. He is married to the love of his life, Bonny, and together they have three incredible children: Saydie, Cannon and Deklon. Jason possesses a desire to see youth, parents and families become who God created them to be through loving and living like Jesus. He currently serves on staff at Centre Street Church in Calgary. He loves hockey, playing guitar, writing and creating environments and opportunities where others can realize their potential in Jesus while experiencing the full life He promised to those who follow Him!