On Sheep, or Why We Need Boundaries in Youth Ministry

For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly (Proverbs 5:23 NIV).

First, check out the following video of sheep on a cliff (warning: the video contains brief language)

Did you see all the green grass on that hill? Tons of it! Yet where do the sheep decide to head? Straight for the dangerous cliff with a scarce amount of grass. But that grass looked gooooood. There's nothing to stop the sheep from heading to that tiny patch of green in the midst of the sharp rocks (apart from common sense). They are free to choose, and they inevitably choose self-destruction.

Sheep are foolish. Scripture often refers to human beings as sheep, and it's not a kind metaphor. Sheep ignore the surrounding pastures and choose to pursue false ideals, ultimately leading to self-destruction. When they experience the natural consequences of ignoring green pastures, they are quite surprised that this could happen to them.

If we in youth ministry are called to be shepherds of God's flock, then we need to guide and protect our flock, both from internal and external dangers. We need to offer healthy boundaries, guidelines, and exhortations so that our flock may run in freedom and safety without the danger of self-destruction or leading others away.

We need boundaries. You know what would have helped that sheep on the cliff? A fence. 

Now, I don't know too many people who are fond of rules. No one is requesting, "could I please have some more rules and restrictions in my life?" Christianity has never been about rules; it's about grace and faith and love and relationships. Yet there are still disciplines and boundaries that Christ has called us to obey, commands He has given in order to lead us towards life and away from death. This is why a community of fellow sheep holding each other accountable to the beautiful truths of Scripture is necessary. With our wandering, we need some fences in our lives to limit our self-destructing ability to jump off the cliff. Setting healthy boundaries for ourselves and our students can lead them closer to life and away from the temptation towards destruction.

If I'm honest with myself, I have sheep-like tendencies. We all do. We wander. We go with the crowd. We stray near the edge of spiritual and moral cliffs. Thankfully, we have a Good Shepherd who graciously guides us into greener pastures and gives us clear boundaries and disciplines.

What boundaries are you setting for the young people in your life? What boundaries do you have for yourself in order to keep yourself from wandering off a cliff?

Joel Mayward is a pastor, writer, husband, and father living in Langley, British Columbia. He’s been serving in youth ministry since 2003, and is currently the Pastor of Youth and Young Adult Ministries at North Langley Community Church. A writer for numerous youth ministry publications and author of Leading Up: Finding Influence in the Church Beyond Role and Experience, Joel writes about youth ministry, film, theology, and leadership at his blog, joelmayward.blogspot.ca.

Manic Monday

OVERFLOW

Moses raised another objection to GOD: "Master, please, I don't talk well. I've never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer."

GOD said, "And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn't it I, GOD ? So, get going. I'll be right there with you—with your mouth! I'll be right there to teach you what to say.” - Exodus 4:10-12 (The Message)

Do you ever wonder why God chose you to work with teenagers? Have you questioned whether you have what it takes, whether or not you’re relevant enough to relate to them? By yourself, you’re not. With God, you are.

God wants the grace, love, and truth he poured into your life to overflow into their lives. On your own you are not

enough; with God’s grace you have way more than enough. With God’s help, Moses, who was not very good with words and who got tongue-tied, confronted Pharaoh and led the Israelites out of Egypt. If God can do all that, he can use you to share the great news of God’s love with teenagers.

Life Coaching
What concerns do you have about your ability to relate to teenagers?


How has God shown himself faithful to be more than enough fo your needs and the needs of your students?


Prayer
Lord, you made me and you know me better than I know myself. Fill me up until your love, your power, your grace, your truth, and your presence overflow through my life into the lives of students I work with. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Jeff Smyth was a youth pastor from 1996 - 2009 and is now working with Youth Unlimited (Toronto YFC). Jeff is married to Heather and they one of the most energetic boys in the world. Jeff is also a loyal fan cheering on the Blue Jays & Canadiens.
You can connect with Jeff online: Jeff Smyth Blog, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+

Give us this day our daily bread

We all know the bread God is talking about is a metaphor for His life giving bread. Or is it? 

In addition to spiritual food, we do need real food too (fyi - Twinkies don’t count as real food). It’s a necessity of life. So how do those that don’t have any, get it? Early on in the Lord’s Prayer it says: “...let thy kingdom come...”. That’s the fun part -  we get to participate. 

Leviticus 19: 9-10 “When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. I am the Lord your God.”

Worldwide, 870 million people – about 1 in 8 – are hungry . That’s nearly 25 times the population of Canada. Why so hungry? Many families depend entirely on what they can grow, so they’re never more than one natural or manmade disaster away from hunger. Just imagine…  your parents, siblings, friends, entire youth group, grandma, the Biebs …all hungry!

Here’s a couple easy ways on how you can respond:

1. Give thanks at every meal and eat your greens
2. Take an inventory of the contents of your fridge and plan how you’re going to use them
3. Invite someone to dinner who may have trouble making ends meet
4. Pass this wisdom on by doing the 30 Hour Famine with your youth group

About me: I live a pretty simple life... trying to love God and treat others as good as myself... I epically fail at this but mercifully God loves me anyway... different cultures inspire me... the outdoors is my passion... I'm pursuing my MDIV / Masters in Counselling at Tyndale... I spent 22+ years in the skate / snowboard / entertainment / marketing / retail industry at the executive level... led the charge at West 49/Billabong for 12 of them... I've worked in youth ministry leadership roles for more years then I can count.. after many moons in the corporate world I switched to the dark side and am currently the Manager of Youth & Student Campaigns at World Vision Canada... but more then anything I love giving my heart to mentoring and helping youth! #lovelife #dreambig #keepitreal #socialjustice #jesusjustice I/T @cindymielke facebook.com/cindymielke

How do I map out my day to day work hours?

How do I map out my day to day work hours? 
Am I working 40 hrs a week? 60 hours a week? 100 hours a week? What do I include in that? Do I put in volunteer hours in the church too?
Here is a simple way of planning our work weeks so there is integrity, accountability and inclusion.

 





Dave Brotherton was a youth pastor from 1984-2006 and now teaches youth ministry at Ambrose University College in Calgary. Dave is also the National Youth Guy for the Alliance churches in Canada and the director of Legacy Youth Conference. Dave is married to Lisa and they share 2 of the greatest kids in the world. Fishing, camping, and cheering on the Leafs are some of his favorite things. 
twitter: @oldbrotherdave

Go Light Your World

They say that there are two types of people in this world:  those that light up a room by entering it, and those that light up a room by leaving it.  

Let this be a reminder to us of our important role as youth workers:  to “illuminate” the lives of young people by being a reflection of Christ’s abundant and never-ending love.  Let us be affirmed in our role:  to lead young people closer to Christ and his Church.  

This is simple in theory, but not always easy in practice.  We should never underestimate this great responsibility.  Yet it is a blessing, a privilege, and an honour.

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo     

What's in a Name?

This post also appears on The Youth Cartel blog.

I remember the first moment when I found out I was going to be a dad. Mixed emotions of excitement, nervousness and joy flooded into my soul. The weight of responsibility of caring for and discipling a young child into adulthood become the focus of my thought power and energy leading up to the moment of birth (and beyond!). Of all the responsibilities associated with being a parent, none seemed as important as providing a great start for this new child by choosing the name they would live into.

My wife Bonny and I spent countless hours creating names for our children. We created a spreadsheet listing all the leading name candidates, researching their meaning and dreaming about what we hoped our children would live into in terms of values, character and aspirations for their future.

The day came where we met each of our three children and called them by name. In that moment everything seemed settled, new, hope-filled and amazing.

Fast forward a couple of years and these young little babies who are now young children are beginning to live into and own the name that they have been given. They respond to it when it’s called (for the most part…), they introduce themselves by it and they know how to write it. My kids are beginning to share who they are with others, starting with their name.

I often marvel at the power that names have in each of our lives. Working with teens I’ve seen firsthand the positive and negative effects of names or labels that have been placed on these kids by those who they trusted and cared about. How we speak to each other and what references or names we use matter. The grade 7 boy who is home-schooled is more than just a home-schooler. The grade 10 girl who has dated half the youth group is more than just the floozy. The student that lives in the rough part of town is more than an underprivileged kid.

The names we share with one another and we give to others matter. What names are you using to refer to the teens and families under your sphere of influence and care? Are they names that breathe life into their souls, or names that reinforce all the lies they may be tempted to believe about who they are? What’s in a name, and does a name really matter?

I Wish I Was A Man

If you were to ask the females around you, “Have you ever wished that you were a guy?” You will find that the majority of females at some point in their lives have wished they were male.  Can the same be said of males? Do males wish that they were females?  What do you think a man's response would be? In a room of 40 guys you might get 1 or 2 hands. From this it is clear that in the minds of men and women the preferred gender is male. For instance if you were to ask female students, “How many of you get along better with guys than you do with girls?” You will see a flood of hands go up.

Can you see that there is something seriously wrong with this?

“Is there something wrong with being a girl?” Absolutely Not!

Then why is it that girls desire to be guys but rarely do you find a guy who desires to be a girl?  That reveals something about our culture. I believe we need to celebrate and endorse a healthy sense of female pride.

We need to celebrate and endorse a healthy sense of female pride.

We say that there is nothing wrong with being a girl, but statements like, ‘You cry like a girl’, ‘You throw like a girl’ say that there is! I remember as a teenager and a young adult playing baseball, I took great pride in throwing like a guy. If anyone said I threw like a girl…those were fighting words!!

What kind of culture are you creating in your youth ministry, your church or your home? Are you creating an environment that celebrates females and their gifts? Here are some suggestions on how you can get started:

Instilling Healthy Female Pride in Your Youth Ministry

1.     Poll the men in your sphere of influence asking the question, “What strengths do females have that guys do not?” Read or display the findings to the girls. Take a video camera to the streets and show the video to the girls.

2.     Have the girls in your youth group host a community event to celebrate International Day of the Girl Child (October 11^th) and International Women’s Day (March 8^th) or their own event.

3.     Have females in your church or in your community share their accomplishments and current victories.

4.      Share illustrations of feminine strength from the animal kingdom. (i.e. Lioness, ants, matriarchal hyenas and elephants.) Use it in your messages and point out to the girls, “Ladies you should be proud.”

5.   Who is Danica Patrick? Who is Dr. Jacqueline Shan? Who is Christine Sinclair? Have students look up women in our society current and past. Have them research and present what lessons or values can be drawn from these women’s lives.

It is time to begin to instill in your girls a healthy sense of female pride and help guys acknowledge, appreciate, and celebrate females as a gift from God.

The Founder of the Young Woman of Power (YWOP) Conference, Alison develops programs that are designed to build girls confidence such as the YWOP PivotFWD workshop which she delivers in Calgary’s Youth Judicial System. Alison’s heart for young women is to see the statistics of violence against women decrease and to see females become counter culture/culturally dangerous by growing in true confidence. For more info or to book Alison as a speaker visit www.ywop.ca