Know Your Role

On our Alaskan cruise last month, we went to get family portraits done in the ship’s photography studio.  The 30-minute shoot went very quickly, and at its conclusion we booked an appointment to go back later in the week to look at the pictures (and perhaps buy some).

We decided that 4 of us would go:  Gail, my brother Jason, my mom Joyce, and me.  We felt that this particular combination of people would give us the best chance of making a good decision without paying too much.

We all had our particular roles too.

I was the “Schmoozer” (surprise surprise) and my job was to break the ice and create a comfortable atmosphere before we talked big bucks.

My brother Jason was our “Quality Control Expert” as he by far has the most expertise with respect to photography and editing.

My lovely wife Gail was the “Negotiator/Closer”.  She knows how to drive a hard bargain and is not afraid to be tough if she needs to.

Lastly, my mom Joyce was the “Benefactor/Banker”.  The buck stopped with her as she was the one ultimately paying for the pictures.

We decided on these roles to take advantage of our respective strengths.  For example, Gail had no interest in making small talk with the photographer; she left that to me and my gift of gab.  And I didn’t dare try to bargain as I am a complete push-over.  In fact, the other three kicked me out of the room when it was time to move closer towards a purchasing decision.  We worked well as a team and ended up happy with the pictures we purchased.

When it comes to youth ministry leadership, it’s extremely crucial that you know your role and understand how your own strengths and weaknesses as an individual help contribute to the bigger picture. 

Here are 4 important things to keep in mind with respect to knowing your role in youth ministry:

1.  Know what you’re good at

At 40 years old (and 21 years in youth ministry), I have a pretty good sense of what I’m good at.  I enjoy speaking, facilitating, and teaching.  I have good relational ministry skills and strong communication skills.  When I’m able to combine these skills effectively, I feel confident in my ministry.  Thus, I’m always looking for opportunities to utilize these skills both at the archdiocesan and parish levels.

Likewise, you may have certain gifts and talents that make you a better youth ministry leader.  It’s important that you continue to hone your craft and sharpen your skills.  I would encourage you to try and become an “expert” or at least a resource in one or two areas of ministry.  It will help you with your confidence and inspire others around you to do the same.

2.  Know what you’re not good at

By contrast, I have a long list of things that I’m not good at.  Dancing.  Art.  Memorizing scripture.  Dressing nicely.  Cooking.   In youth ministry, I don’t think it’s worth wasting time working on your weaknesses.  I am convinced it’s more important to develop and refine your strengths and then lead from them.  Thus, you’ll never see me trying to choreograph a dance routine or offer to bake snacks for the next youth gathering.

It’s important to acknowledge your deficiencies, especially within the confines of a leadership team.  But that’s the beauty of having a team of people – if you’re not good at something chances are someone else on the team is!  Now I’m not saying that you should never strive to improve or that you shouldn’t learn new skills.  But there is a time and place to do these things and you’ll need to exercise good judgement in picking your spots.

3.  It’s not about you

I learned this the hard way early on in my youth ministry career.  Back when I first started, I wanted to be “The Man”.  I wanted to be in every skit, deliver every talk, lead every prayer, and coordinate every ice-breaker.  I don’t think it was a lack of trust in my fellow leaders; rather it was my ego running rampant in my attempt to be the best youth ministry leader I could be.

I found that I was starting to push other leaders away with my self-centered approach.  Thankfully, I was able to change my ways as I matured.  We must remember that our primary goal in youth ministry is to lead young people closer to Christ, and not to ourselves.  We are to always be looking for opportunities to help young people encounter Jesus.  We need to be a conduit – not an obstacle – to making that happen.

4.  Be genuine

It’s my favourite youth ministry mantra:  young people won’t care how much we know until they know how much we care.  In our work with young people, we must earn the right to be heard.  When possible, we need to build genuine relationships with young people before we attempt to evangelize or catechize them.

A big part of this is being genuine with young people. That means being honest with our strengths and weaknesses and admitting when we don’t know the answer to a question or if we’re unsure about something.  Teens are very smart and extremely perceptive – they’ll know if we’re faking it.  So it’s important that you don’t strive to be the most popular leader or pretend to be something that you’re not.  Be humble and trusting enough to depend on other members of your team.


So forget your ego, your popularity, and your weaknesses.  Be a genuine witness of Christ’s love and mercy and do everything you can to help young people experience this love.

That’s our role as youth ministry leaders.

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo

Fear or Love - Two Ways to Engage Culture

Photo Credit: dryhead (Creative Commons)

I was hiding. The coffee shop in Fort Langley was supposed to be a sanctuary of sorts, a place where I could quietly study, my headphones and americano protecting me from distraction and sleepiness. I was finishing the final chapter of Richard Mouw's When the Kings Come Marching In, a brief theological study of the vision of the heavenly city in Isaiah 60. Mouw identifies this city with the same heavenly vision from Revelation 21 and 22, examining the city's description and the implications for our present cultural engagement. Mouw contends that the kingdom city will be filled with redeemed culture--art, commerce, technology, politics, race relations, all redeemed by the salvific power of Jesus.

This is when I noticed her talking to me. The woman at the adjacent table was looking at me, her mouth silently moving in the rhythm of speech, drowned out by my in-ear headphones and the latest album from The War on Drugs (a fantastic record, and one worth purchasing). I removed my headphones and apologized. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you." 

Apology quickly accepted, she began her speech again, sharing about the article she was reading about the pending economic crisis. Interest rates would spike, houses would be foreclosed, food would be in scarce supply, and no one sees it coming. She introduced herself as Mary, and asked me what I was reading. I shared that it was a theology book, and she wondered aloud if I was a Christian. I said I was a pastor, and she shared her own brief testimony of faith, how she had been connected with a local church, but currently was searching.

At first, I quietly considered her words with a calm understanding and propriety, though I honestly was looking for an opportunity to place my headphones back in and continue my studies. Then the conversation took a strange turn as she moved from the economic crisis and her faith to the need to hoard food and supplies, buy stock in gold, sell our homes, and move to the north of British Columbia to escape the impending tragedy. She spoke of concentration camps being built in California intended to round up the majority of the population; how electric hydro meters were instruments installed by "them" in higher government agencies to cause cancer; how she met a former Pentagon agent in South America who confirmed all her suspicions, that the conspiracy goes "right to the top." She had "connected the dots" and passionately implored me to tell the church so we could take care of our own. Would I tell my church? Would I help save the Christians from the impending disaster?

My articulate response: "Uh....."

While she shared her paranoia and fear with increasing fervor, I silently prayed, "Jesus, what do I say to her? How can I respond with grace and truth?" Her mindset was such a contrast from the book I had before me. While Mouw was speaking about the beauty of the heavenly city, with its rich heritage of art, language, and commerce, Mary was frightened by the very powers of the city and technology (ironic, as she was reading her articles on a MacBook in a coffee shop). She stared at me with frantic eyes, searching mine for a sense of fraternity, hoping for a kindred spirit in her fear.

Then the answer came to mind, a passage from 1 John:

This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

I looked into Mary's eyes and said, "I hear a lot of fear from where you're coming from. And I don't think Jesus calls us to be afraid. Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. So, I'm convinced nothing can separate us from this love. And I hope you'll experience the love and peace God gives us in Jesus. I think if we're seeking the kingdom of Jesus and entrusting Him with our lives, deep down we have nothing to fear."

She silently nodded, then sighed with a sense of defeat--I clearly hadn't been convinced. I packed my things and turned to go. She thanked me for listening, then turned back to her articles of fear.

I want to be more like Mouw and less like Mary. 

I believe we're called as Christians to engage and redeem our culture, not condemn or flee from it. I want to be a part of what N.T. Wright calls "building for the kingdom." This requires recognizing that we'll never full bring the kingdom of God to Earth, but that doesn't mean we're to be passive or paranoid about culture. Instead, with grace and humility, we work hard to create and promote justice, beauty, and truth in our world as signposts for the kingdom of heaven. This means moving past the fear, recognizing it's still present, and choosing to allow the love of Christ to be our primary motivation behind all we do. 

We don't avoid the fear; we redeem it as we step out in love. Let's live by love, not fear.

What is your primary motivation--love or fear?

(This post appeared at The Mayward Blog)

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B.C. Youth Workers: Open Vancouver is coming to Trinity Western University on September 26-27. Check out the lineup of speakers and register here.

Making Presumptions

My much-anticipated catch-up session with a youth minister got off to an auspicious start.  Upon entering my favourite Japanese restaurant, I told the owner that I would need a table for two.  As one of the waiters led me to a table, a woman who I didn’t know entered the restaurant immediately after me.  Somehow, the waiter thought that the woman was with me (my wife wouldn’t have been too happy) and somehow the woman remarkably didn’t see me sit in the booth first.  Once she sat down she finally looked at me across the table.  Slightly embarrassed, she gasped “Oh sorry...I thought that he was seating ME.”  She quickly made her way to another table as I tried to stifle my laughter.

An honest mistake to be sure.  And in retrospect I don’t blame her for wanting to sit with me.  Kidding.  Sort of.

But her innocent presumption got me thinking of the many times we make presumptions in youth ministry.  And as in this case, they often turn out wrong.

1.  Presuming what youth will like.  How often do we think that we know what the youth need?  I’ve been part of teams and planning processes where we jumped right into scheduling topics, nights and themes without even doing a proper needs assessment (formal or informal).  It’s important to balance what you might think the teens need with what they tell you they’d like to see.  Usually, the final result will fall somewhere in between the two.   

2.  Presuming what youth will be like.  We’ve all learned to not to judge a book by its cover.  But it’s amazing how often we still do that in youth ministry.  In our fast-paced world, a first impression may become the only impression.  Thus, it takes discipline not to form a bias or opinion of a young person solely on how he looks, how he talks, or how he shakes your hand.  It’s simply unfair if we do.  We need to take the proper time to forge a healthy relationship with teens.  Which leads me to my next point. 

3.  Presuming you’ve earned the right to be heard.  I’ve written before about the importance ofearning the right to be heard.  When possible, we need to build genuine relationships with young people before we attempt to evangelize or catechize them.  Because they won’t care how much we know until they know how much we care.

4.  Presuming that if it worked before it will work again.  When we repeat and recycle processes we can get complacent.  Thus, an “if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it” mentality can become very dangerous in ministry.  While it might mean that things are comfortable for you, in reality it can lead you to grow complacent.  Eventually, this attitude will stifle creativity, discourage risk-taking, and prohibit growth.

5.  Presuming that your pastor knows what you are doing.  This is not at all a comment on your pastor’s intelligence; rather a comment on your communication with him.  Do you give him and parish leadership regular updates?  Does he know the wonderful things you are doing?  Does he know where you need support?  And do you know his expectations of you and the youth ministry?  If you can’t answer “Yes” to all of these questions, then you need to rethink your communication strategy with him.

6.  Presuming that the parents know what you are doing.  Ensure that your youth ministry is more than a glorified babysitting service.  For the most part, parents are grateful for what we are doing as youth ministers and therefore don’t necessarily need to know every detail of every gathering.  However, regular correspondence with the parents will go a long way towards earning their trust.  It could be in the form of face-to-face meetings, emails, phone calls, newsletters, or a regular place in the church bulletin.  The parents will be more apt to support us and our ministry if they are kept in the loop.

So what presumptions do you make in your youth ministry?

Asking yourself this tough question will give you a decent indication of how well you are doing.  We certainly don’t want to get caught making too many presumptions.  Or for that matter...any assumptions either.

Because we all know what happens when you assume.

Clayton Imoo is husband to Gail and father to sons Sean Isaiah and Jacob Isaac and daughter Kayla Marie.  He has served as the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver for the past ten years, helping parishes develop their own youth and young adult ministries.  When not doing ministry, Clay enjoys spending time with his family, playing music, playing sports, playing naptime, and writing blogs on topics such as family, faith, and the Vancouver Canucks.  Learn more about him at http://www.claytonimoo.com or follow him @claytonimoo

Canadian Parents Take Note

This week we highlight something amazing and fresh here at Canadian Youth Worker. It's a conversation for parents & families facilitated by a good friend of ours, Dr. Kelly Schwartz, about the concept of Family Assets.

There is so much information about what families are doing wrong here in Canada. Dr. Schwartz reminds us of the many things that families are doing well.

This is the first of many planned parent and family targeted resources from Canadian Youth Worker. Share it, like it, dislike it, view it. This conversation is yours Canada. Where you take it is up to you!!