Parents of teens
How important is it to spend quality connection time with the parents? I hope that this is obvious! I didn't even begin to think about this until I was about 40 years old and still a youth pastor. At this point, the parents of the kids I was working with were all my age - and my friends. After 40, the ministry with parents became easy. I started to see that connecting with, supporting, networking, and communicating with the parents is absolutely crucial to my effectiveness with kids. It really had a multiplying effect on my effectiveness.
Parents need to trust you. As they see your heart, understand you, and your vision, they will be far more likely to support your programs and invite your influence into the lives of their kids. Parents need to see you as "on their side" as they raise their families. You are not raising their kids, nor are we responsible to! Parents need to feel that you are on their team!
Intentionally hang out with the parents, share your heart and vision, tell them what you see in their kids, describe the spiritual direction/jouirney that you are taking their kid on, listen to their heart, understand their family dynamics, hear about the kid from the parents perspective! Have fun with them and get to know them as people and as friends. This will pay huge dividends in ministry effectiveness.
We would all agree that it really is the parents responsiblity to raise, teach, and train their own families in the ways of Christ. Work to set the family up to be successful in that. As long as I avoid parents, I am stealing it away for myself and potentially undercutting the overall fruitfulness.
Ideas? Constant/regular parents meetings for communication and prayer. Communicate clear avenues to hear complaints and suggestions. When you visit a kids home, don't just disappear downstairs with the kid - spend intentional, pre-thought-through time with the parents too. Try parent/teacher interviews just like the schools do - work together in developing kids, ask about how their kid learns and reacts, talk about the progress you see in the kid's life. Make short videos where you can share your vision and your heart or just communicate purpose and reasons... and post them for parents to access - you can do this often!
Seniors/retirees
Churches are famous for poor communication with and little relationship between the youth groups and the older folks. This really makes no sense to me. The best way to keep these folks happy, keep them praying and supporting your ministry to to open a constant conduit of information. These folks need to hear that God is at work! They want to see life transformation, vibrancy and growth. Often their complaints or suggestions come from the simple longing for evidence of the Spirit's moving.
We know that kids are coming to Christ and lives are being transformed, we see if day to day. Then we hear complaints about the noise, the mess, the drums and get suggestions that we should be doing what they did 40 years ago - - - I'll bet that most of those comments come from the simple fact that they don't see any evidence of God's transforming power in the church!!! They long for this! Tell them! Share it regularly! Be intentional in communicating with these folks. Get them excited that God is alive and active and that the youth ministry is expereincing God and lives are changed. Chances are, if they know that God is at work, we will get less criticism and more support - they might not like the music, but they will beam with enthusiasm because they see God's hand at work.
Relationship is this is critical. Communication in this is critical.
Ideas? Create some events where the youth and the seniors can be together and have fun. Go to their bible studies and prayer times, drop in on the quilting meeting... share the stories of successes. Put names to the faces and the prayers. Make some of them "greeters" (like walmart) at youth events and have them stay to pray.
Two examples of many needed relationships.
Get my drift? As a senior pastor, I get a different view of the congregation. I want to see people on the same page. I want to see the different generations working with and for each other.
I'm not interested in the different ministries functioning as islands in the church.
I want my youth workers to be loved, supported, and gushed on by the rest of my church. I want to see God at work in people's lives - and I want everyone in the church to hear it, recognize it, and expereince it.
Youth Workers, spend intentional thought and time in building relationships, pouring into, communicating, and exciting the rest of the church. You will see the result - you will like the result.
dave
Dave Brotherton now lives in Sauble Beach, Ontario and is the Lead Pastor of Sauble Christian Fellowship. Dave was a youth pastor for 20+ years, taught youth ministry at Ambrose University in Calgary for 8 years, and was the National Youth Director for the Alliance Churches in Canada since 1999. Now Dave leads a church and speaks into youth ministry from the Senior Pastor's perspective.
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