Public Speaking Tips: Can You Relate?

"...Just because they're in a church, it doesn't mean that everyone has it all together. My advice would be to talk about things that are real and relevant to today's youth." - Katelyn 17

 Can you relate to issues of divorce, blended families, cutting, rape, and random texts of topless girls when you have never experienced it yourself? It’s not an option, YOU NEED TO RELATE! In this blog, I will show you how you can connect with your teen audience in a world that is not your own.     

Speak The Language Of Pain And Their Trust You Will Gain.

I have a list. A list that helps me speak the language of pain. Not just any pain, but the pain and experiences that youth go through. I started this document back in 2006 it’s called Teen Issues:  X Marks the Spot (In this blog I will refer to it as The List). In this document I lists various issues/topics that teens face from bullying, to blended families, being the class clown, to being judged in the church. Beside the topic I have written a detailed description of what teens experience and face, according to the topic.

Bullying:  People you don’t know jump you, they shove, push and beat on you. You walk close to the lockers because you’ve learned it lessens the pain when they shove you into them.

That description of bullying may not make sense to you. But a young guy who hears you say those words in your message, will lift his head and look into your eyes. His ears perk up because you are speaking his language, the language of his pain. To him, it feels like you can see right through him, you see his pain, you understand. He now hangs off of every word that proceeds out of your mouth including the message of hope. That same boy will come up to you after the message is over and share his secret life of silent torture with you because you get him. You spoke the language of pain.

 “I think a youth pastor should be willing to stay in touch with youth culture (ex. current video games, celebrities, etc.) and use current language.”- Hunter 19

 How do you develop this list? Through the gift of listening. A friend shared his story about how he was bullied in Junior and Senior High School. Everyday through the hallways he walked closely to the lockers. I had no idea people lived that way! I wrote it down.
You hear someone share about their journey with homosexuality, maybe on a talk show, or a conversation. What were their struggles, their thoughts, what did people say to them? Write down their exact words, The devil has no new tricks, what he says to one he has said to another. Listen to those around you, especially your students. There are students who are self-aware and more articulate than others, listen to them. Their words will be the key to help free other students who are unable to express what is going on inside.  Developing an X-Marks the spot list is a powerful exercise as it will help you to pay attention to people’s pain and better understand why people do what they do. 

You do not have to be the Been-There-Done-That person in order to relate to students. Just be an excellent listener and you will connect and relate to students in a world that is not your own.

If you would like a copy of Teen Issues:  X Marks the Spot List or if you have further questions about how to use it. Email me at alison@itgspeakers.com

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A member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) Alison has dedicated her time to developing her gift of Public Speaking so that her listeners would believe the truth that she shares and to raise up other strong youth communicator’s in Canada. She has been speaking full time for four years and is currently enrolled in Youth Speakers University.
Speaking Tips are from Alison’s Public Speaking Enhancement Workshop for any inquires message her today. http://www.inspiringteengreatness.com