Spiritual Practice of the Week: Leader Practice: Mentors and Friends

In their book The God Bearing Life, Ron Foster and Kenda Creasy Dean reflect that people require a number of different kinds of relationships in order to thrive in life and ministry. They suggest that we all need circles of friendship in order to be fully human. It is the circle that includes our soul friends, or the people who pull us toward God, that I am most interested in understanding.

Anam cara is Gaelic for soul friend. It is important to have at least one anam cara who knows your life and work intimately and to whom you can go to seek counsel and pray with; someone who can listen and hear. A soul friend is someone who reminds you about God’s presence in your life. Your soul friend may simply help you remember your own place as a person of faith in this crazy world and encourage you to continue practicing. An intentional soul friend relationship dwells in the realm of God and can be one of life’s deepest blessings.  Examining how you receive and give the gift of soul accompaniment is a component in growing your ministry to a place of health, strength, and impact.

Practice:  Spend some time reflecting on the support you have in your life. Draw a small circle that represents you in the middle of a piece of paper. Then draw small circles at various representative distances for the people who support you. Write their names in the circles. Connect them to you with lines. Are the lines strong and bold, or are they weak and barely there? How close are the other circles to you at the centre?

Once you have finished the drawing, answer the following questions.

• Who are the soul friends who intentionally pull you toward God?
• What are the qualities of your connection with them?
• If you don’t think you have a soul friend, what impact do you imagine having one might have on your life?
• Is there someone you could imagine developing a soul friendship with? What steps could you take to begin to foster such a connection?
• Are you a soul friend to anyone? What do you value about that relationship?

If you want to bring soul friendship into your life, pray about it and set the intention. Also be intentional about thanking the people who offer you support.

© This prayer practice and all of those on the Sunday Morning Blog Post can be found in:  "Go Deep: Spiritual Practices for Youth Ministry" Wood Lake Publishing.  Doris is the Youth Director for the United Church of Canada in BC and the Director of World Pilgrim Awareness Travel.