Our Deepest Fear Part 2

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

–Marianne Williamson

Last week I stated that I'd be doing a small series of posts about the above quote and I'm going to stay true to my word.  This week I've decided to touch on "Your playing small does not serve the world." and what it means to me.

When I was a kid my dad used to say the following to me all the time "Ryan you are a great boy and some day you will be a great man for God."  That line has stuck with me for my entire life, and one point in my late teens my dad made it a point to say to me that he felt that I had turned into a great man for God.  The problem is that I rarely ever felt it.  Sure I gave of my time to go on mission trips, and sponsor a world vision child, and gave up every Friday night for six years and many many other evenings trying to invest in youth.  All those things were good and important in the foundation of who I was, but I couldn't(haven't) been able to shake the feeling that there was more "out there".  That very reason is why I was drawn to this quote like a moth to the flame.  It was like Marianne was talking directly to me.  It felt like everything I had been doing was playing too small in some way, but felt each part of was foundational for what is to come.  Over the last few months I have stepped down my part time Youth Worker position at my church and have started a process of self discovery, and that quote is a driving force.

Every time I think about quitting or giving up or just not putting in the time I force myself to read this quote.  At the end of my life I want to be able to answer the with a resounding yes that the world benefited by me not playing small in my dreams, my prayers, my hopes, my actions and my time.

Wherever you are in your ministry right now, do not shrink, do not look down on yourself if you only have a few kids on a weekly basis, give everything you have to your moment, dance and sing and give everything you have like no one is watching.  God's hopes and plans are bigger than anything you can fathom.  This week... don't play small.

Ryan Filsinger is a husband, father, hockey lover, video game producer and aspiring social architect.  He has been in part time youth ministry for the last six years in Charlottetown, PEI.  You can find him on twitter @rfilsinger or read his rarely updated blog at www.filsinger.org