Our Deepest Fear - Part 4 .. Or is it Apathy?

I've done a lot of thinking about fear over the last couple of years.  This fall I am attending a conference put on by one of my favourite bloggers about pursuing your dreams.  He tends to write a lot about conquering fear and how so many people are gripped by it.  Fear of rejections, fear of what other people might think, fear of traveling, fear of the unknown, and the list goes on.

I'm not sure if it was how I was raised, or if something clicked of me at some weird point in my development, but for some reason fear rarely affects me.  I mean there are times where natural fear keeps me in line and doing the right thing (driving on the right side of the highway for example), but what I really struggle with is apathy.  Wikipedia defines Apathy as "a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation and passion".  I find that most of the time when I have time to myself after a long day at work, being a father and husband I just end up having a hard time getting motivated.  It is not that I'm afraid of what might happen, sometimes I end up honestly with a deep sense of not caring.  I struggle with this quite considerably because I DO care, I do have passion for the poor and the windowed, I DO have a heart for them.  I've taken considerable parts of my life investing in others, but when it comes to pushing to that NEXT step apathy kicks in like a bad habit.  

That is why the quote I've been dissecting here for the last month means so much to me.  It calls me out personally.  By me playing small and not pushing myself the world is not benefiting.  We only have one shot at this life, and I do not want to be at the end of it and regret not doing the things I feel called too because I got too busy or distracted or lacked that last bit of motivation.  So often in life we end up regretting what we did NOT do, and not what we did.  

What is God calling you to do that you might be fearful of? What is the worse that can happen if you step out?  Or are you struggling with apathy and lack motivation?  Try this week to do just 1 thing to make that extra difference in the world.  So often we get overwhelmed by the large pile of hurt around us, but just start with 1 thing.  You'd be surprised how much just improving 1% each day will add up quickly over time.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

–Marianne Williamson

Ryan Filsinger is a husband, father, hockey lover, video game producer and aspiring social architect.  He has been in part time youth ministry for the last six years in Charlottetown, PEI.  You can find him on twitter @rfilsinger or read his rarely updated blog at www.filsinger.org