Our spiritual growth moves less in straight lines and more in cycles. Walter Brueggemann's insightful little book, Spirituality of the Psalms, offers a framework for how this cyclical spiritual formation works through the lens of the Psalms:
When I first heard about this framework from a spiritual director, it was in the middle of a personal season of orientation. Unbeknownst to me, I was on the brink of disorientation--broken relationships, physical pain and struggles, culminating with the near-loss of my infant son. God led me through the pain--not around it, not away from it, but through it--to draw me into a deeper relationship with Himself. It turns out He's been doing this since the beginning--read the stories of Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Job, Jonah, and even Jesus, and you'll see this spiritual cycle.
There are two paradoxical struggles which arise in the cycle: first, we don't like the shifts, the "arrows," the changes from orientation to disorientation or from disorientation to new orientation. We don't like change. Yet we also struggle with being present in our current season--if we're in disorientation, we want to get out of the pain; if we're in orientation, we're worrying about when the season of disorientation is coming for us. We don't like being present. Paradox, I know.
The key is to recognizing the season you are currently experiencing and embracing it as God shapes your heart through this journey.
Where are you right now? Where are your students, your children, your spouse? How can you be fully present in the season God has you in?
Orientation: This is a sense of peace and contentment with God. Spiritual growth and practice almost feels easy--prayer works, reading the Bible feels alive, worship is passionate, there is unity with fellow believers, an eagerness to follow Christ. Many brand new believers or students at the end of a summer camp or missions trip experience this elated orientation. Christianity feels like a new and exciting endeavour. For the Israelites, these orientation Psalms reflect experiencing the blessings of the promised land, of being right where God wants them. Yet lingering in orientation for too long can lead to a sort of spiritual apathy; we begin to take God's blessings and presence for granted, and the cycle moves to a new stage.
Disorientation: All is not well in disorientation. There is the introduction of pain, trials, doubts, and frustrations. This is the letdown after the summer camp is over, the onset of a season of suffering. Prayer is tedious, reading the Bible is a chore (if it even happens), worship is lifeless, and one feels isolated and alone. God feels distant and aloof, even unjust in His actions. This causes us to lament, to cry out to God in anger and sorrow. Disorientation tends to be an inner response to an external circumstance--a loss of status, a broken relationship, financial difficulty, the weightiness of ministry, death or disease, etc. This is being led out of the promised land into exile; we feel far away from the security of home. Thankfully, God is present with us throughout this painful season, though it doesn't feel like it. He is walking with us in the valley of the shadow of death.
New Orientation: At some point, one emerges from the valley into the light, coming out of the pain and isolation with a renewed sense of peace, gratitude, and trust in the Lord. This feels like returning home after a long journey, only one's heart and mind will never be the same after one's harrowing experience of disorientation. It is like Israel coming back to rebuild Jerusalem after being in exile for so long. This new orientation only stays "new" for awhile. Then it slips into the comfort and security of orientation, which lasts only until the next doubt or trial or emotional turmoil fosters disorientation once again. And so the cycle continues.
Disorientation: All is not well in disorientation. There is the introduction of pain, trials, doubts, and frustrations. This is the letdown after the summer camp is over, the onset of a season of suffering. Prayer is tedious, reading the Bible is a chore (if it even happens), worship is lifeless, and one feels isolated and alone. God feels distant and aloof, even unjust in His actions. This causes us to lament, to cry out to God in anger and sorrow. Disorientation tends to be an inner response to an external circumstance--a loss of status, a broken relationship, financial difficulty, the weightiness of ministry, death or disease, etc. This is being led out of the promised land into exile; we feel far away from the security of home. Thankfully, God is present with us throughout this painful season, though it doesn't feel like it. He is walking with us in the valley of the shadow of death.
New Orientation: At some point, one emerges from the valley into the light, coming out of the pain and isolation with a renewed sense of peace, gratitude, and trust in the Lord. This feels like returning home after a long journey, only one's heart and mind will never be the same after one's harrowing experience of disorientation. It is like Israel coming back to rebuild Jerusalem after being in exile for so long. This new orientation only stays "new" for awhile. Then it slips into the comfort and security of orientation, which lasts only until the next doubt or trial or emotional turmoil fosters disorientation once again. And so the cycle continues.
When I first heard about this framework from a spiritual director, it was in the middle of a personal season of orientation. Unbeknownst to me, I was on the brink of disorientation--broken relationships, physical pain and struggles, culminating with the near-loss of my infant son. God led me through the pain--not around it, not away from it, but through it--to draw me into a deeper relationship with Himself. It turns out He's been doing this since the beginning--read the stories of Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Job, Jonah, and even Jesus, and you'll see this spiritual cycle.
There are two paradoxical struggles which arise in the cycle: first, we don't like the shifts, the "arrows," the changes from orientation to disorientation or from disorientation to new orientation. We don't like change. Yet we also struggle with being present in our current season--if we're in disorientation, we want to get out of the pain; if we're in orientation, we're worrying about when the season of disorientation is coming for us. We don't like being present. Paradox, I know.
The key is to recognizing the season you are currently experiencing and embracing it as God shapes your heart through this journey.
Where are you right now? Where are your students, your children, your spouse? How can you be fully present in the season God has you in?
Joel Mayward is a pastor, writer, husband, and father living in Langley, British Columbia. He’s been serving in youth ministry since 2003, and is currently the Pastor of Youth and Young Adult Ministries at North Langley Community Church. A writer for numerous youth ministry publications and author of Leading Up: Finding Influence in the Church Beyond Role and Experience, Joel writes about youth ministry, film, theology, and leadership at his blog, joelmayward.blogspot.ca.
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