The Female Stare Also Known As The Scan

I know it’s tough for anyone to attend an event on his or her own but it is worst for that new girl who is visiting your youth ministry for the first time. This is why.

New girl enters stage right. The guys are standing center stage checking out girl, but for very different reasons. Guys will check out specific body parts such as boobs, butts and legs. Of course this is a generalization but there is truth in this. Stage Left there are three girls in your youth group huddled together discussing a youtube video they just watched. They then notice the new girl who entered stage right. What do they do? Check her out of course, but not like the guys, no the new girl will get the full body scan! It feels like you are going through security at an airport its thorough. After the female stare those girls in your youth group will know whether or not the new girl’s shoes match her belt, if there is a string hanging from the back of her skirt, if she is using some cheap mascara or Cover Girls Clump Crusher LashBlast!

I’m not even joking!  Females of all ages do it. If you are a female YOU’VE DONE IT & YOU’VE EXPERIENCED the wrath of the dreaded stare where females look each other up and down.

Why Do Girls Do That? 

Girls size each other up to see whether or not they measure up.

Girls are looking for the ‘chink in one’s armour’ searching for another’s flaws and vulnerabilities. These females are hyper aware of their own weaknesses which is the reason why they can easily look for it in others. It helps them feel better about themselves if they can find weaknesses in another. Girls size each other up to see whether or not they measure up. They compare themselves with each other, which is the main reasons why girls have a tough time getting along with one another. Many girls don’t realize that they are scanning their friends each day looking for flaws. Some girls will see the flaws while others see flawlessness, either way both of those views will reflect back on a girl being aware of her own weaknesses.

What Can You Do?

What is at the core of this problem? Females have a hard time seeing and knowing that they are wonderfully made. Girls need to spend more time identifying their strengths rather than their weaknesses. Help them see their beauty. This is where the full body scan someone can actually come in handy and be used for good. Have each girl write their name down on a cue card or a piece of paper and tape it to their back. Have the girls write down the beauty & strengths of the girl whose card they are looking at. This will help girls begin to see the beauty that others can see that they cannot, plus it is a great exercise that helps girl’s practice identifying and looking for the strength & beauty in others rather than their flaws.

The Founder of the Young Woman of Power (YWOP) Conference, Alison develops programs that are designed to build girls confidence such as the YWOP PivotFWD workshop which she delivers in Calgary’s Youth Judicial System. Alison’s heart for young women is to see the statistics of violence against women decrease and to see females become counter culture/culturally dangerous by growing in true confidence. For more info or to book Alison as a speaker visit www.ywop.ca