How To Build Confidence in Females

Happy International Women’s Day!!! Well actually it’s Saturday. But let me help you get ready for it. Saturday March 8^th is a day where we are not ignorant of the struggles women face around the world, but it is also a day to celebrate the gift that women are and the contributions they have made to society. Too many females are hindered from living out their fullest potential. I was recently speaking to a professor at the University of Calgary who said, “My daughter is brilliant, a quick thinker and innovative. She has the ability to go so far in her field, but she lacks what my son has confidence.” A lack of confidence stunts the growth in females. Today I am going to share some practical tips on what you can do to help increase confidence in the lives of females.

Men, How You Can Build Her Up

The constant battle females struggle with is not feeling good enough. Their value and self-image seems to be constantly challenged. Men, what can you do to help the teen girls, your female youth workers grow in confidence?

1.    Complement The Qualities You Admire In Her.

There are many myths that females believe to be true ie. Guys only want one thing…sex or smart women intimidate Guys. Gentleman, Is that true?

Be a Myth Buster by complementing her on the qualities that you do admire.  For example, you are playing an outdoor wide game and you see some Jr. high guy just thrash this girl. She falls to the ground, gets her bearings, with her hair disheveled she wipes the blood from her nose, gets back up and into the game. Male youth pastor, stop that girl (before she gets blood on everyone) and tell her, “Wow, Jill you got hit hard, are you alright?  I’ve got to say, I admire females who are resilient! When you get knocked down, you get up again. That is admirable. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

What you are doing is educating girls on the qualities that men do appreciate. What do you see?  Is she standing up for herself or others? Tell her that you admire females who are willing to speak up or fight for justice. There are too many girls who stay quiet is that what you want to nurture? Let your female youth leader know that you appreciate her tears, her moral stance, her leadership or quick thinking, that these qualities are so admirable. Whatever internal characteristic you see, identify it and tell her. This will reteach girls about what qualities are important to men. They will rise to the occasion instead of dumbing down, or just focusing on their external features.

Speak of her inner qualities and females will begin to learn that guys value who they are inside and that confidence is beautiful.

Ladies, How You Can Build Her Up

Females have a tough time getting along with each other because they feel that other females are judging them. There is something you can do to break that myth and help teen girls be confident in how God made them.  

2. Complement Her On Her Physical Beauty.

We don’t hear it enough. Ladies, how many of you have seen a female walk through the mall and thought to yourself, ‘Wow, I love her hair‘ or ‘That’s a cool outfit.’  Did you tell her or did you just think it? 

How would it make you feel if a random female came up to you and complemented you on how you looked that day? You would experience a really random rush.  

So many females struggle with how they view themselves including that lady you see in the mall and the girl that came through the doors of your church or youth centre. Who knows what battle that kid faced with her hair or she may be feeling a little insecure about what she’s wearing. Female Youth Pastor, don’t hold back, tell her that she is a beauty! She came to youth wearing no make up...you noticed, comment on the beauty of her skin.  She hates her freckles but you love them. Tell her. This may seem superficial, but don’t be fooled, it’s powerful. How many of your teen girls have a hard time seeing their beauty, including yourself? By complementing their physical features, you are helping them to identify their beauty.  Many girls, when asked what is their favourite feature, reply saying their eyes. Why is that? I believe it’s the feature that they are complemented on the most.

No more silent complements, give a voice to those thoughts and help the females in your life see their beauty and embrace it while restoring the girl to girl relationship at the same time.

We are blessed to live in a Nation that is so international. My prayer is that we here in Canada would be able to influence nations by our example in the way we speak to women and how we intentionally build them up and empower them.

This International Women’s Day build the confidence of the women in your life by speaking to their inner strengths and helping her see her beauty.

Resources

If you want to be intentional about building your girls confidence, send your teen girls and their youth leaders and mothers to the Young Women of Power Conference April 25-26^th in Calgary Alberta. Visit our website for more information or email us. 

The Founder of the Young Woman of Power (YWOP) Conference, Alison develops programs that are designed to build girls confidence such as the YWOP PivotFWD workshop which she delivers in Calgary’s Youth Judicial System. Alison’s heart for young women is to see the statistics of violence against women decrease and to see females become counter culture/culturally dangerous by growing in true confidence. For more info or to book Alison as a speaker visit www.ywop.ca